I did a thread like this several years ago, when I was still working for the enemy and got a few laughs. Somebody ordered up an extra dose of crazy this week though. The following 7 things all happened Wednesday of this week:
(my comments in teal following a c++ style comment tag: //)

1. "Now everything, it just looks like a dead"
2. "It is not the wireless, I'm going to switch husbands" // This is the only coherent sentence she said in the entirety of the call
3. Heavy French accent, just spouted random numbers and then demanded that I learn to see the future in order to obtain shorter appointment windows.
4. Complained that his computer cannot detect his SSID; Problem started when he selected "Hide SSID" in the router firmware
5. "We got a she-bear on the internet, but the Roger, it is not working. The she-bear, she is from my country and she is work fine. All the wiring is install. I never trust my wife for you to touch these things." // This guy sounded exactly like Boris Badanov, spent about 6-10 minutes rambling incoherently about his she-bear from his country, and I'm pretty sure he accused me of sleeping with his wife, but one cannot be sure since he did not at any point utter a coherent sentence.
6. Client caught someone trying to splice into his cable lines, expects the telecom to post armed guards?
7. A free download on megaupload is slow! // no , sherlock


Classics from the past, some may have appeared in the previous thread:
1. Me: How long is your phone cord?
He: Since April. // This spawned a series of amusing webcomics by Lynx.
2. Me: Do you have any other phone numbers?
She: No! Try my cell.
3. "I just want check my internet is working not working can you check in my air?" // I don't think I ever did figure out what the hell this guy meant
4. "I have Windows 10!" // cue Back to the Future music
5. "I have Stalin in the window" // He should get a nice, stylish Marxintosh
6. Me: (paraphrase of "the retail guy didn't do his job")
She: But his name is Jordan! And I'm Jennifer! // Well why didn't you say so?
7. Me: Are you using a powerbar?
He: I'm using Elvis.
8. "My cell phone doesn't even work, I have to dial all of the numbers and then press send."
9. Me: "type a dot"
He: "N?"