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Thread: 101 ways to commit political suicide

  1. #1
    Not responsible for WWI Citizen Bleys's Avatar
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    Default 101 ways to commit political suicide

    I'll start:

    1. Post pictures of your genitals on Twitter
    2. Always dress as Batman
    3. Address the House (or Senate, or Congress, or what have you) exclusively in the voice of Kermit the Frog
    4. End every sentence with "because of the Jews"
    5. Have your name legally changed to "Satan Mc"
    6. Run a grassroots campaign, then start referring to yourself in the pluralis majestis
    7. Respond to every question from a reporter with "I'm not going to answer that until I get my hug." (This one is my favourite. It also works with police, judges, and the Queen)
    8. Table a bill making it a criminal offence to use a past participle without an auxilliary verb (I would vote for that bill)
    9. Refer to Amnesty International as "Those whiny little wankers"
    10. (In France only) Get caught having sex with your own spouse

  2. #2
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    11. You could go for the "performance art" option.

    12. Go visit your mistress in Argentina for 6 days, but tell your political aides to tell the rest of the state you're hiking the Appalachian Trail.

    13. Announce one of the pillars of your campaign platform is going commando as much as possible. Make every Friday a "free ball Friday."

    14. O'Donnell's "separation of church and state" gaffe is a classic.

  3. #3
    Pinkasaurus Rex Pumpkin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Citizen Bleys View Post
    7. Respond to every question from a reporter with "I'm not going to answer that until I get my hug." (This one is my favourite. It also works with police, judges, and the Queen)
    Believe it or not, someone at my school did this to the teachers

  4. #4
    Feel the Bern Administrator Del Murder's Avatar
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    Occasionally dressing as Batman is ok though?

    Proud to be the Unofficial Secret Illegal Enforcer of Eyes on Final Fantasy!
    When I grow up, I want to go to Bovine Trump University! - Ralph Wiggum

  5. #5
    Ghost 'n' Stuff NorthernChaosGod's Avatar
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    15. Be a member of this forum.

  6. #6
    A Big Deal? Recognized Member Big D's Avatar
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    16. Take a sensible, informed and balanced approach to policy decisions - instead of campaigning on hysteria, buzzwords and whatever far-right or far-left bandwagon issue will garner the most attention

    17. Justify women's pay disparity by blaming their strange feminine ways

    18. Always answer your phone by pretending to be an answerphone, even if other people are in the room

    19. Insist on donning a surgical mask and rubber gloves before holding a voter's baby for a photo

  7. #7
    Not responsible for WWI Citizen Bleys's Avatar
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    I quite like #19 xD

    EDIT yet I didn't think to rep it right away because I am a frakking moron.
    Last edited by Citizen Bleys; 06-26-2011 at 06:19 AM.

  8. #8
    Microwaving canned bread TrollHunter's Avatar
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    19 is amazing
    20: run around a supermarket clad in only the superhero underwear of your choice and a sheet tied around your neck as a cape.
    Eyyyyyyyyyyyyy

  9. #9
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
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    21) Continue to proclaim gay relationships as morally corrupt while cheating on your spouse with someone 1/3 your age.

    22) Devote half your state's budget to "finally eradicating those damned subterranean mole people."

  10. #10

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    23) Get a blow job.

  11. #11
    Newbie Administrator Loony BoB's Avatar
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    24) Give a blow job.
    Bow before the mighty Javoo!

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