Quote Originally Posted by Guardian XIII
Briene



G13 - Oh my, she's very pretty.
I could do without the stubble though.

eternal essence - Mmm, I love a woman who's all natural.

Jiro - I hear Danish girls do it better. Not sure what "it" is, but if she's anything to go by, it HAS to be good!

G13 - If she's willing to dye that hair she'd be a shoe-in for Pippy Longstocking.

Jiro - I'd stalk her long time, if you know what I mean.

eternal essence - I can really get behind her being Knighted, I just hope none of the admins, specifically anyone with the initials DM, are against it for some strange reason.

Jiro - I'll definitely be against her.

G13 - I volunteer for giving her the new CK tour. I can't wait to take her into the porn forum and lock the door and... oh my, was I thinking out loud?



Bunny



eternal essence – Dear god in heaven!

Jiro - Why am I touching the censored?
Can't say.
It's censored.

G13 – Get your hand away from it, you might catch something!

eternal essence – What is he doing to that farm animal?

G13 – Are we sure that's an animal? There's a lot going on...

Jiro – I don't want to think about it. Those parts shouldn't go togeth- OH GOD THINGS SHOULD NOT MOVE LIKE THAT!

G13 - This reminds me of the time I walked in on my mom and dad wrestling. About 9 months later I got to share the story with my new little brother.

Jiro - You don't think that is Bunny's...girlfriend....do you? I heard she was pretty attractive but I don't know what we're judging that against.

G13 - I dunno, man, I'd probably hit that.
After a long night of binging on copious amounts of drugs, of course.

Jiro - I think I finally understand why they call him Bunny. I mean just look at him go. Incredible.

eternal essence - It could also be because of those ears. Those things put NCG to shame.

Jiro - Don't be too loud or Justy might hear you. We don't want to spark a one-man riot.

G13 – Another Cid's Knight letdown. Who the smurf nominated this guy?



HC



G13 - Looks like a good movie. I assume it's a horror film about going to the Prom.

eternal essence - He looks like Count Dracula's nerdy brother.

G13 – Night of the living Frank Sinatra.

Jiro - Perhaps his prom had Frank Sinatra as the live band?
That's one I wouldn't want to miss.
Although imagine turning up to that one without a date.
"I saw Frank Sinatra...alone "

G13 – Check out the manscaping going on here. Shaped eyebrows are lady killers, I can't imagine why you would think he'd go stag.

eternal essence – His father must be Spok.

Jiro - I guess Spok was the original spammer from out of space then. Too bad we can't just beam him up.

eternal essence - Guys, we're going to feel really bad when we find out those brows are a renewable source of fuel...

G13 - What a yearbook photo. How much tit do you think he got when he turned up at school in a tux?

Jiro - I wouldn't have given him any tit. Those eyes just scream "I"MMA CHARGIN MAH LASER!"

G13 - He looks like he's making sex-eyes at someone behind me. I keep looking over my shoulder.
"Mom, what are you standing there for?"

Jiro - I thought he was Spok's son, not Iceglow's!

eternal essence – MLT Become a CK sure has started out bleak.

Jiro – Maybe there's something we're not seeing. HC 007?

G13 - That would explain the tux. Pretentious bastard. YOU'RE NOT BETTER THAN ME!



Iceglow



Jiro - …

eternal essence - …

G13 - …

Jiro – Okay, everyone done reading yet?

eternal essence - There's certainly a lot of text in this film. Do you think they considered writing a book instead?

G13 - It was based off of a book. They had to cut a lot out of the original title.

Jiro - I'm impressed that he has a friend who met the guy who coined the phrase blockbuster. Not everyone can say that now, can they?

eternal essence - I think this really would have worked as a silent film.

G13 - I suppose I'll have to read the book to find out how many women he's slept with.

eternal essence - Do you suppose he'd add me on PSN?

Jiro - First we have to verbosely debate what exactly constitutes a sexual encounter and whether girls who are less than a 5 count. I imagine if we said less than a 5 doesn't count then it should only be a dozen or so.

eternal essence - I really hope he adds me on PSN.

G13 – A failed CK before he's even started. He'd spend so much time explaining the warning that the offender wouldn't be posting anymore.



Marshall Banana



Jiro - I didn't hear anyone say funky, but I can smell something funky. Jesus Philip, what have you been eating?

G13 - This scene reminds me of Animal House for some reason...
"Hey ladies, what am I?"
"Oh god, I hope it's a strawberry! "

Jiro - Those are rose coloured glasses if I ever I saw them. I can't shake the Lennon vibe though. The strawberries must be psychedelic.

eternal essence - What a trip, man.

Jiro - I'm a tad disturbed by the twin Hello Kitties growing out of her face though
Is that meant to be happening, or is it the strawberries again?

eternal essence - I dunno man, ever since I took one of those strawberries I've been seeing all kinds of tit.

G13 - She may have done time in the slammer. I hear the teardrop tattoos mean you've killed a guy... those Hello Kitty tats look pretty hardcore.

Jiro- Well there was that time she beat Rantzien to death with a strawberry.
I can't imagine what sort of things happened while she was behind bars.

eternal essence – I'll vote for her if she promises not to spit whatever is in her mouth at me.

G13 - She's starting to freak me out. Go to the next movie!

Jiro - I CAN'T FIND THE SKIP BUTTON OH GOD...Phew



NCG



Jiro - I assure you, I'm not trying to touch his ears. That's Justy's gimmick, and he can have that one

G13 - Make sure you wash your hands after this. That stuff on his face looks questionable.

Jiro - I wonder; did he volunteer as a human canvas so JessweeeeNOTE could practice her "lady art"?

eternal essence - Oh my... it's seems to have gotten all over his clothes as well.

Jiro - I see, it's just a big misunderstanding! He's freaking out because of, well, yeah, and everybody thinks he's a rabid tribal trying to invade!

G13 - This movie should have been called Predator. Not because there are beastly aliens hunting you like a frightened rabbit, but because he is most likely peeping on some unsuspecting female from those bushes.

Jiro - You won't be able to run away ladies, those ears double as wings. Just scream and he will be incapacitated!

eternal essence - What's he doing with his mouth? Is he trying to smile or is he picking something from his teeth?

Jiro - I think he looks more sinister this way. I have this feeling he inherited his teeth from his father who happens to be a wacky clown. I hate clowns and clown spawn.

eternal essence – I'm not sure I'd want to subject the forums to his rule. The man is obviously a delinquent!

G13 – Agreed. I weep for the underage future.



Ouch!



G13 - This movie is going to make me cry, I just know it.

Jiro - I didn't know Piglet had broken out of his role in Pooh. I thought he'd been typecast forever.

eternal essence - Yeah... and who's that pink guy?

Jiro - Well from the way they're standing, I'd say his lover. Or brother. Or both?

G13 - Brother lovers? When did Lonely Island get here?

eternal essence - They caught the boat with T Pain!

G13 - The pig doesn't know it yet, but that guy is marching him to the oven.

Jiro - The pain that we've been forewarned about is obviously the bludgeoning prior to the roasting, I think. I'd say ouch! too if I was beat to death.

eternal essence - "Arm in arm, they skipped away to meet their deaths."

Jiro - It's like Bambi, but with more food.

G13 - That reminds me, pork rind?

Jiro - Don't mind if I do!

eternal essence - A better title for this film might've been "Things that make you go mmmm" but I imagine McDonald's put a stop to that.

Jiro – I wouldn’t be opposed to taking the pig as a bribe. I'll vote for a man who isn't above bribing.



Vivi22



G13 – This looks promising. The previews were awesome.

eternal essence – I can't see his hammer.

Jiro – Maybe the hammer isn't what's being a thor in their side.

G13 – Oh god, is this the porno knockoff!?

Jiro – God damn, look at those muscles. I just wanna...

eternal essence – Put your hand down, you're creeping me out.

G13 – I bet he's not a natural blonde.

eternal essence – You think those wings on his helmet help him stay aloft?

Jiro – Oh definitely. But the cape's just for show.

G13 – He looks like he's in pain. Or angry. Or both.
“Damn you bran muffin, work!”

Jiro – So this guy wants to be a Cid's Knight, eh? Well, he's already dressing for the position...

eternal essence – I'm too afraid to object.