Exit strategy

[Old Manus]

Quit my job!? I'd buy the company and make further untold millions.

[Iceglow]

I wouldn't quit. I'd keep my job but I'd be as irritating as a man who cannot be threatened can be. I'd piss off my co-workers royally, especially those who dislike me by doing all kinds of trout such as when they're complaining about being broke I'd offer to loan them the cash. If I got in trouble with my boss I wouldn't care I'd just be like "really? really? honestly?" and see how long it takes to get fired. In the mean time the money would be awesome just to go out partying constantly on and if I wanted to blow off work and pull a sickie or two it wouldn't matter (I quite like my job to a degree, it's not the end of the world) I would probably last around 3 months before I got the final booting. It'd be funny to contest every disciplinary too so I keep the job longer thus pissing them off more.

I would buy a nice flat too sod having a massive house in London it's all about getting in to a nice new development in the penthouse apartments and just rub it in that I have this awesome place and a very fast, very sexy motorcycle to park outside the building. If anyone ever was just like "smurf off Steve you're a prick!" I could just be like "ah but I can afford to act like a prick, you on the other hand are writing cheques your body and your wallet couldn't cash if you put the two together."

I have once quit a job literally with a resignation letter which contained numerous quotes from the song So Long And Thanks For All The Fish. I then locked the box containing the till keys (which was essential to open new checkouts if it got busy) with my padlock and put my padlock key inside the box first with a note saying "congratulations you just found the key to the padlock on the box" (they weren't allowed to bust the lock open on shopfloor) and told a manager he was a wanker and that sending me home would be a good thing for me and that I knew he couldn't dock my pay since my final pay packet was already sent out.

[Carl the Llama]

Ok so I started at the quitting of my job, then went a little bit further:

This is the real life
This is no fantasy
I won the lotto
I will escape this reality
Open you eyes
Look up at my Sovereign Riiing
I am a rich man,
I need no job hehe
Because I am easy come easy go,
I am rich, don't you know
Look up at my Sovereign Ring
Sovereign riiing

Lady, I just quit my job
I am going to go now
Drive my big car somewhere else
Goodbye crappy Job,
I am riiich,
Gunna leave you all behind
to buy a yacht!

Ladyyyy oooo
I am leaving now
And I wont be back
again this time tomorrow
HAHAAAA stupid bitch
You do not even matter to me

Right now, my time has come,
Gunna eat some caviare,
Then go hit all the bar's
Goodbye everybody,
I am going,
Gunna leave you all behind
To buy a Yacht

Ladyyy ooooo
I sometimes wish I'd never seen you at all

I see a big silhouetto of a house
Scaramouch Scaramouch,
will you buy that house now
You have got that damn right I am going to buy that house!
(Galileo) Galileo (Galileo) Galileo, Galileo figaro
Magnifico I'm just a rich man, everybody loves me
He's just a rich man from a rich family,
Sell him his this house, you will get money!

Easy come, easy go, will you let it go
Bismillah! No, we will not let it go
(Let it go!) Bismillah! No, we will not let it go
(Let it go!) Bismillah! No, we will not let it go
(Let it go) Will not let it go
(Let it go) Will not let it go (Let it go) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no

Oh nice house owner nice house sell me it
Nice house Owner I have a big pot of cash
For youuu For You FOR YOUUUUUU

So I bought this loverly house
I will throw a massive partyyyy
Ohhhh Partyy, stomping wild party
With Jack Daniels, and some big crates of Beer!

I need an Alca Seltzer, bring one to me
Bring me Alca Seltzer, oh bring me Alca Seltzer
pleeeeease.

[demondude]

/thread.

[Iceglow]

KD just won this thread by a billion light years and he wasn't even trying.

[NorthernChaosGod]

Holy trout, that was smurfing epic.

[Carl the Llama]

lol you would NOT believe how god damned long it took me to write that.

[fire_of_avalon]

Well I was going to post about making it rain work money at our Service Desk while blaring this over our PA system, but clearly that won't be cool anymore.

EDIT: Link is most definitely NSFW.

[Jiro]

I would probably throw a huge party then disappear.

smurf you bilbo

[Psychotic]

Write a really respectful letter, hand it personally to my boss, shake their hand, and walk out smiling.

Oh. Right. Uh. Wear monkey pants!!!! Or possibly Hitler. (yes, his skin)

[NorthernChaosGod]

I'd like to see Paul in a Hitler skin suit.

[demondude]

I'd change the signs from saying 'Coffee' to 'Hoffee' and I'd arrive in the car from Knightrider with David's version of 'jump in my car' blaring from the speakers. I'd summon fifty Hoffettes and we'd get filthy. Then I'd stick my dick in some coffee.

[Del Murder]

I'd buy the place then fire everyone.

[Goldenboko]

Right now I work for my dad so it'd be pretty much. "Hey dad. WE'RE RICH." Done.

[Cuchulainn]

smurfing Commies