I thought we already established that the ice melts!
I thought we already established that the ice melts!
Yeah, but in winter, the water freezes. Apart from alcohol. So the fort will just have to be a bigger bunch of alcoholics than normal for that season.Originally Posted by Psychotic
I thought we already established that the ice melts!
Only if it's close to the surface. If you build an underground reservoir (which is what Iceglow is doing) you'll be a-okay.
To be fair, I probably could've dug the resevoir a little deeper and used the second level of the resevoir to fill in. However for now this should do, it's contained indoors and so shouldn't freeze, if it does well BoB'll just have to drain the resevoir using the flood gate provided for such purpose and dig deeper.
Spring part 2, this is much shorter than the previous post.
Parties, Melissaur and Snatches.
Migrants and Census!
Oh yes it's the 23rd of Slate, we've got Migrants, boy do we have Migrants. In fact our Migrant wave has given our numbers a gigantic boost. We're now up to 39 Dwarves. Thats a lot of Dwarves who'd rather live out here in the cold than down south with the Humans all over the show and the Elves, damn all Elves, I'll never forgive the one what finally caused me to come up here. Kantus his name, Smurfing Kantus! An Elf so bad I use his mere name as a damn insult! And let's just not even mention the Goblins and their Gods, those skinless freaks the thought of them make me want to puke up all over my beard! Still we've got plenty to do if we're going to make this the New Dwarven Empire! I think that's got a nice ring to it. An empire of Dwarves, not a Goblin or Elf in sight.... Well I suppose I ought to list the names of these brave 39 souls who make up Spoonproblems and I'll add in their marriages/spouses too so that all will know:
Psychotic - Lover of Dr Quin, medicine dwarf (she threatened me with poisoning the Dwarven Wine supply if I didn't list that after her name, damn infernal woman!)
Iceglow - Married to I'm My Own Milf.
DK - Lover of Red Pill.
Genius Lynx - Married to Angelwings8
Smitten Kitten
Pike
Red Pill - Lover of DK
Værn
Shorty
Angelwings8 - Married to Genius Lynx.
Lonny BoB
I'm My Own Milf - Married to Iceglow
Jessweeee
Melissaur - No relationships as of yet, however she does insist I list her 2 pets a Blue Peachick and a Gosling Urvad and Udil
Raistlin - Married to Shlupquack, Father of Devilman
Rantzien
Demon Dude
Dr Quin, Medical Dwarf (taking no chances!) - Lover of Psychotic.
Unbreakable Will
Lekana
Levian
Rebellious Eagle
Rubah
Dignified Pauper
Marshall Banana
Fire Of Avalon
Zeldy - Married to Laddy
Wolf Kanno
Old Manus
Laddy - Married to Zeldy
Champagne Supernova
Clo
Rye - Married to Yeargdribble
Yeargdribble - Married to Rye
Eternal Essence
Miss Lulu
Guardian XIII
Shlupquack - Married to Raistlin
Devilman - Son of Raistlin and Shlupquack
So there we have it, the 39 Dwarves of Spoonproblems, I hope that soon I will have worked out just what we're going to do with these new faces, I've got to hold a lot of meetings, interviews and the like find out what exactly these Dwarves are good for but considering this is the second year since founding of Spoonproblems and our first official census this will take time. Hopefully by the end of the year I'll have this all done and recorded. Who knows maybe some new relationships will form, a lot of the new faces don't know anyone yet which is why I told my wife to host a party, as the new first lady of Spoonproblems I suppose it's one of her duties to help me keep the peace and intergrate the new dwarves and the old.
I like Dr Quin, Medicine Dwarf but she's got the access to knowledge which when she threatens to poison your fortresses only supply of drink is actually kind of scary, I'm going to issue a proclamation I think that everyone ought to from now on call her whatever she wishes to be called, at least until we have a few more doctors to hand!
I also am quite proud of the fact that we're seen as a family home, Shlupquack and her Husband Raistlin brought their only son Devilman with them. Ok so he's only 1 it's not like they had much of a choice and I suppose the King kicking your husband out of the kingdom with the words "Go North you worthless cur and never return!" after he lost yet another case defending the Kings honour from a slanderous Elvish tabloid which implied the Dwarven King prefers the company of goats in the bedroom than his own wife. Is kind of a what else you gonna do moment but I'll take it as a sign that we're doing something right. Don't know what Raistlin thought he was doing trying to practice law, from all accounts of those who actually come from the homestead...it just wasn't right Dwarves are just too drunk to defend the law. Especially against Elves, they'd rather just use a hammer and beat the Elf in to submission.
Also of note is one of our married couples, in fact, come to think of it all our married couples outside of Myself and my lovely Milf, and Genius Lynx and Angelwings8 emigrated at the same time as Raistlin and Shlupquack, makes Spoonproblems sound like a marriage counselling resort... "Your husband no longer giving you a cuddle at night? Sounds like you need Spoonproblems, situated in the frozen north, we guarantee the nights will be so damn cold he'll be so snuggled up to you you'll feel suffocated." What was I saying? Oh yes, Yeargdribble and Rye. Rye is a lovely dwarf and long suffering from what I can see, personally if I hear Yeargdribble mention "My wife and I" again in the first 2 minutes of conversation I might not be responsible for what I have branded on his buttocks. I've already mentioned this to Zeldy who claims she has some skill with the blacksmiths tools, she assures me she can definitely make it happen. He hopefully will definitely be staying on the "passing acquaintance" level of friendship.
Elves spell trouble!
Ah the 16th of Felsite, it began raining that day, for four days and for four nights the weather was terrible. I should have known the Elves have a saying "wherever you go, always take the weather with you" well seems they brought something from London with them, rain. We saw the merchants approaching shortly after the rain began falling. They arrived the next day complaining as they do about the fact that we've been felling a few trees here and there to build defenses, beds and other furniture and possibly to get a few furnaces running. Pah, Elves their areas of London were always so GREEN! I mean I like a tree as much as the next Dwarf but really? Really? I'm half surprised the Elves didn't break down and cry when they saw our woodworkers chewing through our supply of logs. One of them recognized me, said Kantus has become a caravan guard, if I ever see him I swear, I will have my revenge. I thanked the Elf for the heads up and then told Psychotic to get shot of them quickly. We brought a few things, mostly seeds, cloth, alcohol oh and a tame giant moose, not too sure why we decided to get that but I suppose if nothing else it'll make great steak!
Elves mean trouble, always! I mean Kantus is one problem, he's my problem. That Smurfing Kantus however is like a symptom of a much bigger problem! One day the Dwarven Empire will become a reality and we won't follow these prissy Elven rules anymore we'll simply smack them with hammers until they behave like good Dwarves! These Elves still brought problems with them. First of all they brought some voodoo doodoo in to the fortress how else will you explain Melissaur one of the new immigrants suddenly getting possessed by unknown forces! A possessed Dwarf here in Spoonproblems, this could end very badly.
I've heard of Dwarves getting possessed in the past, apparently unless they get what they need they'll likely die or go berserk and try to kill everyone. Unfortunately for us Melissaur is just sitting there dazed as the party goes on around her:
And to boot it seems like the Elves were followed! A goblin snatcher thief has arrived! Damn Goblins seems like they really are everywhere. Our two resident soldiers rushed forth on orders to kill on sight. and yet when they reached the gatehouse they didn't kill the goblin DK instead who was by far the first to arrive turned his mighty skills of fighting on one of our own helpless cats. This display of power literally ripping the cat in to pieces and throwing it's still living mangled, maimed, mutilated remains aside, had an unexpected result however and the Goblin thief fled quickly! It did take a while for the cat to die however, it sat there plainitively mewing at us for hours, the damn Elvish merchants were aghast at my suggestion that Angelwings8 finish the job, though they didn't notice when she "accidentally" dropped her hammer on it's head finishing the job.
This in turn turned out to be enough experience that Angelwings8 was promoted by DK the militia commander to the rank of Hammerdwarf. If all it takes to be classed as a hammerdwarf in the military here is dropping your hammer on a dying Cat's head then I'm worried what this means when we eventually get a large Goblin army come to besiege us. That damn snatcher got away which means I'm absolutely sure it will come to that. Perhaps I will tell some of the more promising immigrants that they're going to join the illustrious military of Spoonproblems.
As I said, Elves are trouble. This lot have turned up and since they arrived we've had Posessions and Snatchers. Part of me wants to order DK and Angelwings8 to kill the Elves in retribution for leading the smurfing Goblins here. Milf is cautioning against it. Maybe I had better listen to her for once, this time the Elves go free, next time, especially if that smurfing Kantus is there with them they wont!
And after the excitement which was that, I think it's safe to say that was the last of the events from Spring and we will now wait eagerly to find out what happened in Summer....
Last edited by Iceglow; 07-31-2011 at 12:53 PM.
Loving the Raist/Shlup/Devil Man thing going on there. xD
Learning experience of the day: Always double check who you have ordered a soldier to kill. *takes notes*
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Whenever I am with Angelwings8, my heart goes doki doki.
Ew, vag.Zeldy - Married to Laddy
I wonder if you can get gay dwarves, or will be able to someday?
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
Will you all stop killing my bloody cats?
This needs to happen.
So many masterpieces. Oh Dorian, an artist should create beautiful things, but should put nothing of his own life into them.
I actually used the kill creatures at x location attack command for the military, ironically enough they keep flashing up as trying to kill the goblin snatcher which by now has fled. Might need to consult the wiki because the order won't cancel.
Also I figured people might enjoy the Shlup x Raist = Devilman thing going on. I also hope you appreciate that I made Wes have a backstory as a terrible lawyer.
Why'd you think I did it? Just to make straight jokes at your expenselmfao can't wait for little laddettes or laddies to start running around the fort
Blame DK and Angelwings8, they decided to murder the kitty instead of the goblin.Will you all stop killing my bloody cats?
IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! :kaocry2: I love kitties :catsmile:
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