Now before I begin, read this:



rofl.

Right so Spoonproblems ain't really been that problematic. First year was pretty fly, stout dwarves, strong leader, nice fortress somewhere in Antarctica. But then Psy, well what'd he do? Went and left. Well it was a new age for the dwarves. I came in, ruling with an iron fist. Did the dwarves tremble?

Actually, no. They threw a smurfing party.


Real nice. Although I like how Lynx couldn't be arsed to show up and he stayed in bed. I like even more how DK is sat by himself with MILF hovering between "do I sit with the poor guy" or "rofl what an idiot." Also there are way too many dogs around so I killed most of them. Tough love, smurfers.

But I really don't know what I'm doing. At all. The dwarves just bumbled about whilst I tried my hardest to ... do something constructive. A bit fed up, I went to take a look at the outside world ... and, well. Look.



It's so purty. But really, it was the beginning of the greatest disaster to yet fall upon dwarven-kind in its incredibly short history.

I dub thee - floodgate.



When it started raining I thought nothing of it. When the smurfing great hall started flooding, I began getting a bit worried. Psy asked for water but this was just a bit of a piss take. And me in all my noob glory not knowing what the smurf is going on, I panicked. Well, I thought, at least Doctor Quin can look after any injured dwarves in the infirmary!



Bollocks.

Although I need to say, Quin was a star of the first two months. After the party (which lasted days) he decided that illness was actually of no importance and he stood outside contemplating life for an entire month. Although, in fairness, his infirmary was inaccessible (and still is) he remains as the most qualified dwarf in Spoonproblems. Yet he just ponders. Look at him below:



Anyway the rain stopped and what you witness here is my only contribution to the development of the last two months. A dirt road in front of the gate and a small farm near a body of water. Notably, however, we have three migrants. I just named them whatever because I'm the leader so yeah.

Laddy
Dignified Pauper
TrollHunter

And this is where I left off. I intend to make a difference next time, to do something. I don't want my year to be remembered for water damage, parties and lazy doctors.

And so I leave you with a tragic picture. A picture of The Great Hall, smurfed up by water damage.



How on Earth do I repair it?