I shall give my two cents. Here is a list of possible reasons (in order of decreasing likelihood):

- The guy-friends you have are actually their boyfriends/brothers/fathers/retarded cousins/dogs/hair conditioner

- Three years ago, you insulted every woman on the planet, and suffer complete amnesia about it.

- You didn't help fight off the robot Koala attack.

- You are the illegitimate child/grandchild of someone in their family, or the family of their favorite artist/writer/president/hobo.

- Monkeys with lightsabers.

- It's opposite day 365 days of the year now, and they all love you really!

- You wear orange all the time, invoking aggression and slight tumors.

- You ate an apple once. It was Leibniz's apple. You bastard.

- Your hair is the completely wrong shade of black.

- Every morning for the past 10 years, you've had something on your face.

- That thing you've had on your face was a monkey with a lightsaber.

- You spell your name with a -ton. They are wondering if that will impact your pokemon capturing ability.

- It's the tattoo that catches the eye of their boyfriends/lesbian lovers/general aquintance, and its location.


It's obviously monkeys with lightsabers.