So I'm be-bopping along, cruising down the interstate on my way to work today when I feel something alien run up my leg. It was moving fast, and I was wearing shorts. So what ever the smurf it was had made it dangerously close to my testicles very quickly. Unknown things moving aggressively towards your balls sends most men in to fight or flight mode. I swatted at my shorts (probably swirving across a few lanes) and something huge and green fell out of my pant leg.

It turns out she was a giant, upset praying mantis. She was longer than my hand, and I have no clue how she got in my car. I pulled over and let the little monster out.

She must have enjoyed scaring me, because as she left she mentioned ripping me in half with her giant mandibles and feasting on my entrails.

I explained that I was flattered, but that it sounded like typical female pillow talk. I wasn't interested. So dejected, and with out my testicles, she went on her way.

The end.

I have pics of the beast I'll upload when I have a little more time. She's really cool looking!

EDIT: Ah yes, I forgot! Share you brushes with death be they big or false alarms like mine.