Are you an English Major?

I live in the south so everyday is full of horrible English.
"I ain't got none!"
"I'ma get me some!"
"I ain't no damn fool!"
Yes, yes you are.

What really bothers me is that my brother had an internship for NASA a few years ago and is still friends with a few engineers from there. He recently got married and his NASA buddies bought him a sign to put in his house that says "The King's". Really? You're a goddamn engineer? "The Kings"! Or "The Kings' " is you want them to look like possessive assholes, but now you're just being douches and leaving my sister-in-law out of the possessiveness!!!!