EOFF Summer 2011 Census!

[Del Murder]

I'd prefer a giant what-the-hell-is-that to a talking rat any day.

[Jiro]

Wouldn't we all.

Wouldn't we all.

[Slothy]

I have a confession to make guys. This census has been really hard on me. Why is that you may ask? Because being a complete ass for the lulz is not my natural state of being, except when confronted by stupidity. So all of you with the exception of Shlup have made it fairly difficult to keep this up over the course of the entire census. So I think we'll tone it down a bit for today and likely tomorrow since up next we have:

Favourite Non-Boss Enemy

I mean it really is hard to smurf this one up since there are so many great monster designs in this series, and well, you guys actually didn't smurf it up. In fact, I'd go so far as to say the only way to smurf it up would have been to vote for an FFXIII specific monster or variant. And that's not just me trolling FFXIII as I usually do, I mean it. Most of the enemies in that game were pretty poorly designed. But looking at the results I don't see any FFXIII specific names that I recognize so well done folks.

I'm also not going to bother dragging out the reveal of first place this time since this census was already twice the length of the last one and this reveal is dragging on long enough as it is.

So in third place on this one we had a tie between:

Bomb (2 votes)
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and Behemoth (2 votes)
Behemoth.gif

What can you say really. Both really embody their names quite well. I mean if the name Bomb wasn't a dead give away I'd still be surprised if that guy didn't blow himself up. And Behemoth, despite some questionable visual interpretations on occasion, is basically the living embodiment of power and rage, and let's be honest here, when we saw this guy for the first game in whatever game we first played, just seeing him scared the crap out of us.

In second place we have:

Cactuar (3 votes)
BigCactuar.jpg

Again, he looks pretty much like what you would expect from seeing the name. Not to mention being a relatively simple design that not only gets the point (no pun intended) across right away and has become a mascot for the series for a reason. And no, not because he looks ready to slurp his way to the top of the mascot pile if you no what I mean (and seriously, if he offers, say no).

Finally, in first place is:

Tonberry (4 votes)
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Another simple, understated design, made slightly creepy by the way he brandishes that knife and inches menacingly towards your party. His cuteness obscuring the very real danger he poses to you and everyone you love. A well deserved first place.

And because I (pretend) to like you guys so much, we'll finish off today with:

Favorite Boss Design

I'm picking a third place finisher to show at random because everyone who wasn't in the top two tied for third. So what will I choose?

Third PlaceCidolfus Demen Bunansa
200px-Dr_Cid.jpg

Why Cid? Because FFXII doesn't get nearly enough love on this forum and I'm running this show mother smurfers.

And in second with a miniscule 2 votes we have Black Waltz. I'll admit I'm a little disappointed here since it doesn't specify which Black Waltz. But I guess all of us Black Mages must look the same to you people huh? So here's a picture of Black Waltz No. 3:

200px-Black_Waltz_3-FFIX.PNG

Racist hicks...

And finally, in first place we have Ultima Weapon with 3 votes. Like a lot of picks in the last category he's gone through a lot of variations over the years, so here's my favourite one, and the one I think is by far the most menacing:

Atma.PNG

Six smurfing legs and literally exhales badass? Yeah, I had dreams of this guy hunting me down when I was a kid.

Full results below:

Favourite Non-Boss Enemy
Tonberry (4 Votes)
Cactuars (3 votes)
Behemoths (2 votes)
Bomb (2 votes)
Zombie Bulls
Red Dragons
Mandragoras
Flans
Goblins
Long Gui
Red Chocobos
Malboro
Ochu
Mu
Yagudo
Slapper
Magitech Armor

Favourite Boss Design
Ultima/Atma Weapon (3 votes)
Black Waltz (2 votes)
Safer Sephiroth
Garland
God Kefka
Neo Exdeath
The Turks
Emerald Weapon
Ultros
Lich
Evrae
Braska's Final Aeon
Gabranth
Four Fiends
Kekfa
Demon Wall XII variant
Sephiroth
Griever
Chardanook
Barthandelus
Phantom Train
Cidolfus Demen Bunansa

[Bolivar]

Well I certainly wasn't expecting this thing to be a celebration of good taste and love for your fellow posters. C'mon, I wanna see Vivi have to get tranq'ed again, preferably by something I've said (Squall's character design ftw!)

[TrollHunter]

Well I certainly wasn't expecting this thing to be a celebration of good taste and love for your fellow posters. C'mon, I wanna see Vivi have to get tranq'ed again, preferably by something I've said (Squall's character design ftw!)

Honestly, I just think he was kidnapped.

[Jiro]

I didn't specify which Black Waltz because all of them are great. At least I think I voted for them xD

[Pumpkin]

Black Waltz #2 is obviously superior to the others.

[Slothy]

C'mon, I wanna see Vivi have to get tranq'ed again, preferably by something I've said (Squall's character design ftw!)

endshot8.jpg

Squall is the stuff nightmares are made of.

But you did remind me that I completely forgot to quote you losers so everyone can see how broken your brains are.

Favourite non-boss enemy design
Malboro (X)

Am I the only one who hears Malboro and thinks Hentai tentacle rape?

Yeah, I think I'm the only one...

Favourite non-boss enemy design: Tonberry!

Excellent choice AngelWings!

What? I actually like her.

Favourite non-boss enemy design - Behemoth
Favourite boss design - Ultima/Atma Weapon

Someone who didn't let me down in both categories? Amazing!

Favourite non-boss enemy design - This was tricky.. I think I'll go with the Behemoths. Even after fighting them all, I just can't remember any. However, the Behemoths (especially FFVI's) look like they mean business.

Favourite boss design - Again, hard.. Think I'll go for Atma weapon. The whole neon blue with gold heads on a huge dogish body just seems badass to me!

Jesus Christ there's two of you?! It must be my smurfing birthday!

Favourite boss design
Final Fantasy XII

I'm not going to say what's wrong here. I'm going to let the rest of you figure it out.

Favourite boss design
The Black Waltz's are terrifying, and a nice demonic look at an already demonic looking race - black mages.

Oh I get it. We're black so we scare you and worship Satan. Well, ok, so the last part might be true.

Maybe the first part as well...

I'm still mad.

Favourite boss design
euuhh... i dunno... sephiroth?

Yeah, I'd feel pretty gross voting for him too Shaibana.

Favourite boss design: Griever

No cookie for you Fynn.

Favourite boss design: Bartandelus, FFXIII

Wait, what? How the smurf did I miss this when I was skimming the results? I move that we perma-ban Laddy.

And lastly, because he asked:

Favourite boss design: Gabranth (I would've chosen him for favorite character design but that seemed more appropriate for main characters. I think all the Judges are incredibly well designed, but Gabranth stands out most to me because of being the most classic, the title art for FFXII, and because his symmetry is accented by his weapon. Gabranth's actor also gave an A+ performance; he got a lot of screen time but I wanted to see more. Gabranth is just a great character overall, but especially with his visual design.)

If you want me to quote you and chew you out then you'd better start stopping making sense again.

[Jiro]

I don't hate you because you're black, you're black because I hate you. The glowing eyes are cool though.

[Jessweeee♪]

Barthandelus is a favorite of mine because I really like his reveal. The expressions on the party's faces are priceless. But I like Cid better.

[MJN SEIFER]

I take it the mention of Mu is my vote? I should specify that I'm voting for the FFIX design only. Sorry if I didn't when I PMed, but I did the whole thing in a rush.

[Fynn]

Favourite boss design: Griever

No cookie for you Fynn.

Hey!

Screw it. I'll get one myself.

[Wolf Kanno]

Okay... apparently Vivi22 wasn't ready yet. He apparently killed and ate his doctor at the hospital and returned to us under false pretense. So I'm going to have to continue on where he left off.

Next up in the countdown is best spell/skill effect. Cause as we all know, FF has always been about doing cool trout, and one of the coolest things to witness with each new installment is how they re-imagine the classic spells, summons and skills we all love and see. This entry turned into a nightmare because no one agreed on anything so for the sake of argument we ended up lumping some together as a general consensus that while some members have different tastes in specifics, they at least can agree that this spell is generally awesome.

Third place is a massive tie of everything else. Basically they all got one vote, some I'll specify the game their for a little better clarity.

Third Place:
Omnislash
Break (FFI)
Flare
Float (FFXII)
Bahamut Zero
Jump
Aura
Devour
Alexander
Thunder
Knights of the Round
Odin (FFXIII)
Bubble
Full Cure
Holy
Quezacotl

Congratulations you only suck slightly less than the spells/skills/summons that weren't mentioned.

Favourite spell/ability effect: Knights of the Round (This is a classic. This will always be one of the things people recall when they think of FFVII, not only because of how over the top it was, but because of how much work you had to put into that game to get it. My favorite summon of all time.)

Yes, we'll all remember it because we can get up and make a sandwich while its being cast.

Favourite spell/ability effect
Bolt/Lightning in any of them. There's nothing like zapping the absolute tit out of something.

Unless you're in the Thunder Plains then the Lightning zaps the trout out of you. I still prefer Bolt over Thunder personally...

Favourite spell/ability effect - Flare. You could never get bored of casting this spell. When you cast it, you just get the feeling of 'Hell yeah. I'm awesome'

Quoted for the truth.

So in second, we have a three way tie.

First up, we have Cure spell

White_Mage_-_CURE.gif
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Which is the unsung hero of the FF franchise. For some fans, this is the only spell they ever see...

Favourite spell/ability effect ~Cure. It's the only one I use on a regular basis.

Next up is fan favorite Time/Black magic spell Meteor, raining death on enemies since FFIII

FF4Meteor.PNG
FFT_Meteor.png
Meteor-FFVII.jpg

Meteor ~ The ultimate spell! I especially like the FFT one, where a HUGE meteor comes crushing down all those below.

and the last is Anima summon from FFX. Or as I usually rename her as "I Win"

ffx_s_anima.jpg
anima.jpg

Nothing like murdering a badly dressed zombie than by siccing his own Nightmare Fuel infused Mother on him.

So what spell could possibly be number one? Bahamut? Leviathan? Raise? Lionheart? Army of One?

...nope, if you guessed Ultima then you are indeed in luck.

FFII_Ultima.jpg
Ultima_FFVI.gif


It had to be number one, it's in the name...

Next time we'll talk about favorite town/city which will feature a few surprises.

[Madonna]

Cure is pretty neat.

[MJN SEIFER]

I'm actually suprised people voted for "Devour" - I guess people really enjoy looking at a screensaver or something. I personally think Devour would have been better if you could see it, and it wasn't Final Fantasy.

I'm hoping I voted for Ultima here.