The whole point of Space Station 13 is destruction, disaster and general insanity on a wide scale. Here is my favourite example of this, when me and dear old DAAAAAAAYN (dk) played.

You can choose your job, and the two of us decided to be Toxins Researchers. Toxins Researchers get to hang out in a big ol' lab filled with a delightful array of gases. Although their purpose is to "research toxins", this actually means "build bombs". As such, it is a popular place to gatecrash - everyone wants a slice of that sweet bomb pie.

Anyway, we were getting set up, and put on our gas masks and oxygen tanks - a must for a Toxins Researchers. Suddenly, we noticed that a gentleman in white was having trouble opening the doors to the lab. It turns out he was a newbie, and actually did have clearance as he was a third toxins researcher, but Dan did not know this, and duly called for security. Dan then forgets that he has done this.

We watched this guy bumble about the lab for a bit before unleashing our usual defences. He's harmless enough, but smurf it. I go up to the gas cannister storage and unleash the valves at max pressure on all of the cannisters of CO2. The pressure was so great that I got pushed out of there by the force of the gas.

And right as I had done that, through the maintenance tunnels at the bottom, security arrives. The Head of Security, no less, and some lesser officer. "He's the guy who was breaking in here!" I say, pointing at our guest. They duly begin tasering the tit out of the poor fellow. Dan, as I said, had forgotten that he had summoned Security there, and as Security are dickheads, he assumed they had come to beat the tit out of all of us for the hell of it, and he was not standing for it.

He grabbed a screwdriver, charged at the Head of Security, and started trying to jab it into the bloke's eyes. He did not like this. The Head of Security has a Laser Gun, only one of two in the game, and as you can imagine it is quite powerful, and turned it on Dan. I was at a crossroads - do I rush in to help? If I do, they will surely kill me too, but if not, Dan will surely die.

Deus Ex Machina made the decision for me. The guard and the HoS both dropped to the floor for a couple of seconds, and then got back up. The gas! I quickly grabbed a Toolbox and charged into the fray. There was then a desperate struggle: Me and Dan with our toolbox and screwdriver were of course outgunned by the Security Guard and HoS wielding a taser and a laser, but we had an advantage in that we weren't, y'know, slowly choking to death. I think my guard managed to tase me to the ground at one point, and then began stumbling towards the exit. He kept taking a few steps and then passing out. I quickly got to my feet and dragged him back into the gas - no escape for you, smurfer! With the gas now extremely dense, there would be no getting up for either Security man or our new Toxins Researcher friend, but we made sure with liberal chokings and toolboxings all round.

Success! All three dead, and now we had the security men's weapons and armour to loot! But of course, SS13 wouldn't be SS13 without disaster immediately following. I can't really remember how the fire started. I think some other smurfer broke in when we were wrestling Security and threw an incindiary grenade, although I am pretty sure there was another fire in the maintenance tunnels too. I do remember me and Dan desperately running through the tunnels, trying to escape, before being trapped in a dead end with nowhere else to go.

This was the end. We had a good run, and said our goodbyes. And as the fire got closer and closer, Dan dropped dead from the force of the heat. I imagine his laser wounds had weakened him. I stood at the end of the tunnel, preparing for the same. I waited for my demise. And waited. ...and waited. The fire seemed to be receding. I was burned... but alive?

I MUST SAVE MY DEAD FRIEND! I drag Dan's corpse out of the maintenance tunnels and through the station. Naturally the station itself is a mess, with fires, explosions, power outages and gaping holes in the side of the ship all over the place, but I heroically perserve, and get to genetics. ...but I can't get through the door! I quickly grab a fire extinguisher and smash it on the reinforced windows until they finally break and we're in!

I then put dan in the DNA modifier and bring him back to life. Then we spend the rest of the time until the station explodes turning performing horrific genetic experiments. We offer to give people superhuman powers, but end up turning them into monkeys or giving them epilepsy or tourette's or something. Y'know, as y'do.

Incidentally, Dan says that in Deadchat, our fellow toxins researcher was telling everyone an epic fable. Like Dan, he seemed to think Security had broken into Toxins to beat his ass. Apparently his fellow scientists (us!) had not taken kindly to this and rebelled against their cruel overlords to save his life, but had not been quick enough. The truth is, of course, it is entirely our fault he died, in that we called for the security guards that smashed his face in and released the gas that choked him, but whatever! I can live with being called a hero.