I brood. My emotions are locked in an icebox to which my ex has the only key. Every now and then when I think about her, I think I can make out the shape of that key, but I can't get the lock open. I feel so emotionally inept and numb that I'm constantly wishing for a good weap-fest. I got close a couple of nights ago while watching an episode of Fullmetal Alchemist and Winry was running around excitedly picking up stuff for Edward to buy for her. She eventually shrieked in glee much the same way my ex did and I found it so heartwarming that my eyes got warm and had that tingle in my nose like I was about to start bawling right there. But then the moment passed. I tried rewinding to that scene again, but the affect it had had on me was not repeated.

Oh, lost, my love, forever, without thee, shall I be. *still wishing I could weap*