When we last saw our brave Light Warriors, they were perched creepily above the unconscious and vulnerable Princess Sarah.


Like this.

Fortunately the most lecherous of our companions was Laddy, and he wasn't really interested in her for some reason. Anyway, the sound of the thousands of nearby bats just kind of flapping about woke Sarah up and, for some reason, she didn't flip her tit.


On what evidence is she basing her claim that we're here to rescue her?
I cannot possibly see how she was kidnapped.


And this is why good kidnappers have accomplices. "Oh, you beat up that guy? Here have the keys to my house!"

And thus we teleported from the rubbish Chaos Shrine back to King's crib. Thank smurf we're out of that crappy temple. Now let's never go there again. EVER.


I see where she gets it from now. We just beat up a guy who was barely stronger than a
couple zombies wandering around outside his front door. How does this make us heroes?


Oh god, here we go.



That's a bit depressing really.

Let me get this straight. The prophesy doesn't foretell our coming, it's just that if we're not the Warriors of Light, then the whole world is gonna need a torch?

That's not quite it. The Crystals control the elements of our world, and maintain a balance. If they are thrown out, then all hell will break lose. Quite literally, according to some legends.

I reckon we could fight some demons. Did you see the way I handled those goblins?

How about the way those skeletons handled your ass, Liam?

Uhh yeah well YOUR FACE IS A SKELETON!

OH GOD NOT MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!

NOT HIS BEAUTIFUL FACE!

*sigh* So King, you were saying?


But there's no bridge.


BUT THERE'S NO BRIDGE!


Oh good, he understands. Mind you, I'd prefer
something a little more valuable than a bridge.
How about some cash money, big daddy?


I, too, hope we succeed in not becoming dead.

Qwert~ used his Treasure Sense and it resonated with Sarah. That, or he thinks she's cute and wanted to get to know her better. Either way, he started chatting her up with her.



I want to know how she thinks this instrument will help us in our battle to save the world.
Laddy will probably just use it to become Laddy Lute and lure young boys away or something.

It was time to go and so Jorge and DD dragged Qwert~ out of the main chamber. Qwert~ wiped away a single tear and steeled himself to return to his beloved when the world was saved.

I did not!

Hey man, I'd take that one. You sound really badass and brave.

I, well, sure, okay. That's what I did then. She is cute but.

Before we left on our Crystal Quest of Convenience, Qwert~ had one last chat to Awesome-Hair-Guy (who we learned was named Andy).


It can shatter the gateway of evil. Smurf yeah, what an instrument!

And you guys thought the lute wasn't good loot.

Forget I said anything. Let's go shatter some freaking evil.

I got dibs on it first. I want to try and play Toxicity by System.

So long Andy of the awesome hair

When we left the castle, some awesome upbeat music started playing and then we all had sort of an out-of-body experience.

Click Me!

It was particularly strange because we all dreamed that DD was the party leader and he was some kind of buff macho man. This is of course absurd because he has to use big swords to fight, his fists would break if he tried to hit anything.

After that though, we woke up on the bridge. I have to say, I never thought I'd see the day.


I wish T-Pain were here to see this.

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How did our heroes get suckered into a world saving mission? Are they cut out to be Warriors of Light? Will they get paid for this? These and many more questions will be asked in the next episode; Witches and Pirates!