Wait a minute, I know where we'd headed now!

Oh yeah? Where are we going then?

I'll tell you when we get there.

Why the hush-hush? Are you hiding something, you thieving little...uhh...thief?

We're not talking about it now. Just shut up and row.

But the wind's in our sails...

I SAID ROW, YOU LILY-LIVERED LANDLUBBERS!


And so they did.

They embarked at a little port in the south, surrounded by forests. You know what lives in forests?


Nope, smurf this, I quit.

Despite being struck with a dangerous poison, Qwert~ managed to lead our brave Light Warriors and DD to civilisation.

Hey, I'm brave!

Pretty sure you wet yourself.

THOSE SPIDERS WERE BIGGER THAN ALL OF US MAN, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

Whatever, pussy


That's one big castle.

Everybody? Welcome...


...to Elfheim. My hometown.

You're an elf?

Yes, yes I am. Hence my natural disposition towards the colour green. We love green. It rocks.

But what about your ears? You haven't got pointy ears or anything!

Oh I know, his ears got cut off in a freak juggling accident.

I just hide them under my bandanna, obviously.

omg YAY AN ELF! This is A-W-E-S-O-M-E♪

You're awfully excited about this.

Elves are sexy people. Very sexy people.

Uh well I'm just gonna collapse over here from the poison now.

Aw tit. Better go rest up at the inn. DD, you drag him.

Why me?

Because you're the meat head.

I thought I was the meat shield?

Same thing.


Highway robbery, I tells ya!

But when they woke up, Qwert~ was still down with the sickness. The solution?


Buy a titload of Antidotes.

There are a lot of poisonous monsters in the area, we should stock up on Antidotes.

What else can we buy?

It's time for another edition of Shopping Time!

This week we've purchased:
  • A Saber for Qwert~!
  • A Dagger for Jorge (the Barbarian)!
  • An Iron Shield for DD (the meat shield)!
  • Leather Caps for Jorge and Laddy!
  • A Helm for DD (the meat head)!


Well that's a pretty decent haul, I say. And now I can cut out my enemies' kidneys.

Maybe the shield will stop the enemies tearing me to pieces.

Can we sell the shield?

Quiet, quiet, I wanna buy some more spell books!

We went to the magic shops on the west of town. This was the fancy side of town, and everything was smurfing overpriced. Level 4 spell books setting you back two and a half grand. Each!

That is more overpriced than those blasted Copper Armlets. We're not getting any.

But but!

We'll go downtown and find some cheaper stuff, alright?

...Fine.

You should just learn to be a physical beast like me, then you don't even need magic!

If you're so amazing, why am I the meat shield?

Because...your face is already ugly, scaring it up might actually make it better!

Guys stop fighting FOR JUST ONE MINUTE. So they went downtown, and bought some more spell books.

Laddy was feeling a bit left out after last time (if you remember, he was sulking -WAS NOT!- unimpressed with the selection and didn't buy any spell books) so he bought three new spells: Cura, Diara and the very useful Heal.

Undead bitches beware, I will make you Die!-ara

That was a horrible pun.

Yo mama's a horrible pun.

Jorge bought Thundara because he was lacking a bit of spark in his day.

That's worse than mine.

Yo mama's worse than mine.

That joke is about three decades past its used by date. If you would like my saber to not enter your neck tonight, then you had best shut it. Now.

(Is it just me, or is he becoming really terrifying?)

(It's not just you.)

We need to collect some information. Before you all flip your tit, or in Jorge's case, cream your robe, it's only a few people, alright?

Actually no screw you all, this is my first time home in a long time, I want to talk to some old friends.


Quentin is still dodging his responsibilities.


Qwopington is still far too obsessed with Tolkien.

Someone is missing? Where's my brother? Where's my big bro?


NOOOOoooooooooo

Dude I am so sorry.

He's gone to a better place now, it'll be alright Qwert~.

...I'm gonna go and smurf up some monsters.

Can anyone else see the steam like, exploding from his ears?

Pretty sure I got scalded by it.

We better go give him some help.



Not even the Revenge of the Wolves could slow our heroes down.

----

We're gonna take a short break here while Qwert~ recovers from his grief. Meanwhile, the party will be running up a huge bill at the inn.

Why don't we stay at Qwert~'s house?

That was sold to pay for Link's funeral costs.

Oh man

Come back next time when our party return to wacky hijinks and there's less doom and gloom (hopefully!).