Once Qwert~'s rampage had ceased and he had simmered, we decided to make for the castle. Link had been close friends with the Elvish Prince, and Qwert~ wanted to hear from him what had happened.


The best castle garden I ever saw.

We weren't met with good news though.


Our next enemy is revealed: Astos!

I want to see him.

It won't make you feel any better.

Exactly.


Rain check on the medicine; first we got bitches to slay!

As we were leaving, DD finally proved himself to be useful in more ways than just a meat shield.

What's that supposed to mean?

You used to be tit.

And you used to be cool. Wait, no, never happened.

You smart ass mother fuc-

Yeah, so as I was saying.

~Flashback~ You know who I miss? That stripper chick. Yeah, she went alright. Well fit.

...Western...Keep. We need to go to the Western Keep.

What?

The stripper, she told us about the Western Keep. That's why we came here in the first place. As much as it pains me, we must put aside my own personal quest and deal with our responsibilities as Light Warriors.

You're the boss! Let's do it~


I am always reminded of Marlene's narration in Advent Children's intro - "There were a lot of battles."

We arrived though, safe and sound, at the Western Keep; a shadow of its former glory.


I hope the rent's cheap.

We weren't alone.


No, you're not getting my house key. I need it!

But I didn't just mean the bats. There was also company awaiting us in the one preserved room in the castle.



That blasted Astos is at it again!

Another castle, another quest. It seems like every time we go to one of these places, some sod wants us to do something for him!

Part of the Light Warrior gig, we just have to roll with it I suppose.

Astos... he's behind it all, I can feel it. He's a blight on this land and a threat to my people. He must be stopped.

So we're going to the Marsh Cave then?

Yes.

It sounds dirty, I'm not looking forward to this. Though it can't be worse than the colour scheme in here, yuck. And the gaudy statues, what was he thinking?

We didn't want Laddy to piss him off, whether he was the king of a fallen kingdom or not. We weren't going to waltz in under prepared though, so we returned to Elfheim, with many many more battles beneath our belts and a fat stack of cash in hand.

You know what this means? That's right folks! Shopping Time!
  • 10x Antidote
  • 2x Gold Needle

Only a small haul in terms of items! But that's because we took a dive and wandered over to uptown Elfheim and bought some more spell books.

I'm bringing the heat and making it fast, with Fira and Haste. Why did I have to say that? I mean seriously, a ten year old could come up with better material.

Hey shut it, or you can become a mute character, alright? I have that power.

I got Poisona and Vox to try and save money on status restoring items. I mean seriously, buying more Antidotes was overkill. I can cure poison for like three MP! Talk about efficiency, bitches.

Hey I've got an idea! How about you shut up and put your money where your mouth is; it's time to walk the talk.

We headed west, and then south, weaving through the mountain passes and forests, until the earth became soggy and the mosquitoes became abso-smurfing-lutely fierce.


They weren't the only things biting though!

Then we found it. Our destination, where two different paths met, at Astos, and the Marsh Cave.


And it was just a smurfing hole in the ground.

----

Will Qwert~ find out what happened to his brother Link? Will the Elvish Prince wake up? Will the Warriors of Light defeat the evil Astos and return the Western Keep to glory?

I know, but I'm not tellin'