Bad Dates

[Yar]

So I'm skyping Shiny talking about a titty date I had this summer. Too long for me to type here, but the abridged version is that he wanted to take me to a buffet for dinner, then proceded to check out other guys all night and flirted with one of the waiters working there that he stood up on a date one night.

Basically it was all a horrible mess. Anyway, tell me some funny lousy date stories.

[sad.mind]

She didn't show up.

[Yar]

aw. that just plain sucks, dude.

[Jiro]

I had a "date" the other day and it was crashed by three other people so that was kind of trout. Of course it wasn't a real date and it wasn't anywhere fancy and I made new friends but still, when I'm trying to chat up a lovely lady whose boyfriend knows how to kill me in about three trillion different ways, I want to be able to concentrate

[Shiny]

The worse was when I some how managed to be on a date with four guys at once. I'm going to leave names out since these people are all on my FB. This is what happened: I intended it to be just me and this one guy (the guy I'm dating now) but then some how a guy I went to classes with had a crush on me which was unbeknownst to me at the time.

Turns out he set it all up so that he could be with me alone in the jacuzzi, but then when I showed up I had another dude on my arm. So he proceeded to get very wasted. He couldn't even speak English. It was just "fgasgf" but he managed muster up some decency to ask me if he could tag along with us to the cuzzi, so I was like "Um it's your apartment I can't tell you no." He brought his drunk ass with us and threw up in the pool so no one could use it. He eventually took his drunk ass upstairs to his apartment and passed out.

But THEN his two friends he invited to the party decided to come with. One of them set off the alarm and the Russian mob (don't ask...they own the building) was like "You're not allowed to be in here!" So we African sprinted out and went back to the apartment. After a few hours (it was like 4am) we decided to try to go back to the pool. Well I did because I don't give a smurf. The rest of them followed.

I was thinking it was just going to me and prospective date in the jacuzzi for it to be a ROMANTIC time, but no. Two other random drunk dudes jumped in the jacuzzi and proceeded to tell ghost stories of all things and for some reason had to be really close to my face to do it. And one of them was like, "UM WHY R U TOUCHING ME WHO IS TOUCHING ME?!" I was like "That's my leg, and you're like two inches away from me right now what do you expect?" The ghost stories all ended the same exact way anyway, with him laughing and saying I looked like the little girl from The Ring. -_-

Every story he told he got closer and closer and I began to feel uncomfortable so we eventually got out and two more random people showed up. We got in again cuz we were cold. The lights were all turned off at this point to avoid being caught by the "Russian Mob" again. I could swear that girl was giving the dude head as we were in the jacuzzi, so I got paranoid and left the spa area entirely. We only really got a few minutes of hot body water time and even less of swim pool time. So yeah. :/

Oh I forgot the most awkward part is when I had my first kiss with said date, the guy who got drunk was there staring the entire time I was just like um. Yeah...that's all I can remember at the moment.

Btw, wtf is this ---> ?!

[Parker]

I was eating and some food fell out of my mouth onto the plate and there was an awkward silence. didnt get a second date

[Martyr]

I ended up dating this incredibly awkward girl for reasons that I never understood. Pity? Curiosity? Rejection by somebody I wanted to date?
Anyway, we went to have a light dinner, but she didn't want to eat anything (but I did. I didn't eat before because I was going to eat with her, and I was hungry. Bad etiquette? On who's part? I don't know.).
Then she just kinda wanted to walk around and not talk, so I indulged her, but we were hanging around a strip mall. So I said, "look, we better do something."
But before I could take her anywhere, she had to go back home, drop off her car (we initially took separate cars) and speak to her mom about whether she trusts me to take her somewhere in my truck. So her mom and her started yapping in German, and I got the impression that they were both excited about me being spontaneous or something. I don't know. But it took so long! And I had to kind of awkwardly stand around and watch some German game show out of the corner of my eye.
I mean, I got nothing against Germans. They lopped off a heavy branch of my family tree some 70 years ago, but I can forgive that. It's just strange, you know? I can speak a little Spanish, a little Chinese. I can even pretend to pull off Swedish. German felt strange.
So, it was moderately late on a Tuesday night - it was my fault for taking her out on a Tuesday night I suppose. So, I had seen some random carnival on the drive, and I tried to take her there, but it was closing. Then I drove her over to the movie theater, but there was nothing really to watch there, and she was disinterested. Then I had the brilliant idea to rush her over to the Western Dance club (we were both wearing jeans. It was cool), but the place wasn't open on Tuesday nights.

I was lost. I was also about an hour away from where I live, so I couldn't really take her down to my usual spots. So I walked her around another strip mall, talked her up, found a quiet place, and then I tried to kiss her. Nothing kills time on a date like making out, but she kinda pushed me off. She wasn't ready for it. We shared this awkward embrace, through which I could tell that the languishing little creature was simply tormented by fears of love, romance, relationships and maybe (and maybe rightfully) me.

It was a bad idea because she really enjoyed the crappy night and wanted to do something together again.
I didn't. Even though nit wasn't really her fault that the date sucked.

But now I wonder if I'm a jerk for taking her out in the first place.

[Pike]

I was eating and some food fell out of my mouth onto the plate and there was an awkward silence. didnt get a second date

That happened to me once, but with an ice cube.

(SPOILER)the guy thought it was cute

[fire_of_avalon]

I don't really date because it seems like a waste of time, i'm not good at structured social situations and I'm a bush hag. So generally when I go out in a date it's with a friend I have no romantic interest in or it's a set-up.

The last set-up I had was a group dinner thing and a friend was introducing me to another friend of hers. He was really great and for the first 20time or so minutes it was awesome.

Then his new girlfriend showed up. My friend had no idea he'd started seeing someone. So that was great!

[Jiro]

ouch

[Christmas]

I was eating and some food fell out of my mouth onto the plate and there was an awkward silence. didnt get a second date

That happened to me once, but with an ice cube.

(SPOILER)the guy thought it was cute

When the guy likes you, anything you do is cute and awesome. Even if you fart, it will be fragrance to his nose!

And when he no longer likes you, your every existence before him is a sore to his eyes!

I remember I went on a date with this guy who took me to a rather posh restaurant for a meal. In the middle of the meal, he started telling me his "expectations" of me. lol.

1) I look too young for my age, when we go out together, it will look like taking an underage girl out. He wants me to tie my hair into a bun and wear some clothings that make me look more "elderly". Except on occasions when he needs me to look gorgerous and pretty. Like attending functions and other craps with him. LOL.

2) He dun like me alway smiling and being friendly to everyone especially guys. He wants me to stop doing that as it make look like an idiot and silly. (I LIKE BEING AN IDIOT! LOL!!)

3) He wants me to be able to cook dinner for him and expect the dinner to be put in front of him when he reaches home after we are married. (Married? WTF? lol)

4) He will alway be my priority and no matter what happens, I should alway be there for him when he needs me. As such, a call for him and I am suppose to appear infront of him.

5) I must alway listen to him because his words and whatever he do, they are for my own good. I should not question nor doubt him.

I stared at him and there was a moment of awkward silence. I took the glass of wine, drank everything in one gulp and replied

"Cool! Why not we go to the law firm, get the lawyer dude to make a contract for us and sign it infront of him~~~?"

He actually take that into serious consideration!

Well, as for the rest of the date, I am too lazy to post it. I dun think people will be interested.

[Jessweeee♪]

Horrible Online Dating Stories To Keep You Single

[NorthernChaosGod]

Since someone posted the girl not showing up, I guess I can count this as a bad "date".

I had a date to go out with a girl to have some drinks and I was going to show her how to play pool. The day before our date she decides to get back with her ex.

[Old Manus]

>Take <s>prospective sexual conquest</s> girl out
>Things going great, visit a few bars
>End up in quiet corner of crowded bar
>She's getting tipsy
>Target acquired
>Start discussing non-work/college activities
>"Yeah I'm going for president of the [university] Christian Union this year"
>
>Excuse to go to relieve myself
>Exit
>"Are you sure you want to delete this contact from your phonebook?"
>It was good while it lasted

[Rebellious Eagle]

We got together and had sex in the woods. Then he had to leave early because his mom just came home from a trip. Then I went to Starbucks and got a drink and while I was sipping my tea the said guy broke up with me through text. Then I threw up everywhere. Yep. Best date ever.