Bad Dates

[Pike]

What does define a date, anyway?

Good question!

Especially seeing as most of my dates involve multiplayer Civilization IV

[Rebellious Eagle]

It was a date to me. We met up beforehand at the mall :x

[Darkswordofchaos]

This v

Okay, I met this guy, we'll say Rick. Anyways I was 15 and he looked about 5 years older....which is what he told me. I didn't think it was gonna go past a date so when he asked me to dinner I accepted. The date was great, we went to see a scary movie which made me end up sitting in his lap with his arms wrapped around me. The date ended with a nice long kiss. We talked to eachother on the phone for hours each day. We saw eachother throughout the summer and got close but kept it to small dates. I had to go register for school and I saw him there. So I ran up to hug and kiss him and he wouldnt touch me. I shruged it off and got my stuff. I went home and called him and he said we couldn't see eachother anymore... I was crushed. First day of school came around...and I saw him... Turns out he's NOT only 5 years older...turns out hes about 15 years older and also my Geography teacher! It was SO embarassing! Everyone knew! It's the worst class of my life! ~Anonymous

[demondude]

It was you, wasn't it.

[Shiny]

I don't know if I should warp the thread like this or if the question was a joke, but this is my take.

A date is when two people make a specific plan for a specific day (date) during which they will attempt to push their relationship forward in a romantic direction.
A bad date is when, mid-date, either one or both parties come to the conclusion that the relationship will never become romatic, that the romance was a bad idea, or that the date caused the relationship to weaken instead of strengthen.

But because a date is about strengthening, maintaining or beginning a romantic relationship, anything can be a date, whether it's a night out with a group of friends or a spontaneous meeting at Taco bell. Whatever brings a couple closer together.

Well I guess everyone has their own ideas about what dating is and I disagree with yours partly. I've been on dates where they were good, but I didn't consider them romantic or didn't have an interest in pushing it romantically. The idea was to get to know each other better while we decided where to go from there. For that reason I hardly call going out with your significant other dates because you already know the trivial things about them that people generally ask when they first start dating and you are already romantically inclined. Dating to me, has always been like a get-to-know-you.

[Jiro]

Phew, then I should be safe.

[Martyr]

Well I guess everyone has their own ideas about what dating is and I disagree with yours partly. I've been on dates where they were good, but I didn't consider them romantic or didn't have an interest in pushing it romantically. The idea was to get to know each other better while we decided where to go from there. For that reason I hardly call going out with your significant other dates because you already know the trivial things about them that people generally ask when they first start dating and you are already romantically inclined. Dating to me, has always been like a get-to-know-you.

Haven't you ever had to fight off saying that stupid line, "So... is this a date?"
Or have you ever had to answer when somebody says, "So... is this a date?"
The "date," in my experience, is more than "getting to know one another" because it is the critical turning point toward "getting to know each other intimately."
Thus, "dating" is always either countered or preceeded by "hanging out."

I can hang out and get to know somebody, be it a guy or a girl. But once it's a "date," then both of us know that, at one point or another, we're going to have to decide whether our lips are seriously going to touch.

Of course, you may have completely different experiences or even social dialects. But where I come from, we don't date unless we're resigning ourselves to the potential of love, marriage, babies in baby carriages.

I'm also a big supporter of the When Harry Met Sally philosophy, that the potential for sex always spoils any semblance of real platonic relationship, and ultimately, no man ever "hangs out" with a woman without that there's a possibilty that someday she will help carry his genes on into the next generation. So most of the time when I "hang out" with a girl, both of us know that it's a set up for a date. And when we date, it's a set up for romance. And when we romance, it's a set up for broken promises and cheated hearts.

[Jiro]

No chance of it being a set up for some casual sex on the side?

[Martyr]

That's called a fling.

[Christmas]

No chance of it being a set up for some casual sex on the side?

Causal sex? This reminds me of the two stray dogs that I saw on the street. One was banging the others! Doubt they know each other before the banging commence!! Something like that!?

[Jiro]

To actually respond to your previous post with some seriousness instead of stupidity this time, I don't think it's impossible to "hang out" with a girl. For instance, I've made a new friend through work and she is a lovely and very beautiful girl. Last Thursday we caught up after class and had a coffee and some cookies and it was a jolly good time. I am not out to seduce her or anything, though if she propositioned me then I probably wouldn't object*. There is no romantic notion between us.

As an addition, in my own mind I deem that a date. My definition of a date is actually pretty much exactly the same thing as hanging out, whether or not it's romantically inclined. The problem with my working definition is that people will call queer^ if I go on a "date" will a male buddy But in my mind, nothing separates the two, and "Romantic" is a little variable box that is either checked or not.

*If you ignored the fact that both of us are in relationships already, and both of us like our relationships, and if you also ignored the fact that her boyfriend probably knows more types of martial arts than I do countries, then I'd be all over that.

^Not that there is anything wrong with that, I just don't want to broadcast wrong and disappoint anyone. Oh listen to my arrogance, this isn't making me look better at all.

EDIT: All of the above is in response to Martyr.

@Christmas: uhhh yeah, something like that

[Christmas]

To actually respond to your previous post with some seriousness instead of stupidity this time, I don't think it's impossible to "hang out" with a girl. For instance, I've made a new friend through work and she is a lovely and very beautiful girl. Last Thursday we caught up after class and had a coffee and some cookies and it was a jolly good time. I am not out to seduce her or anything, though if she propositioned me then I probably wouldn't object*. There is no romantic notion between us.

Ya! I have friends who are guys which we hang out together! I think it is possible for such things!! But it all depends on the guy personal preference whether to see all girls as potential relationship partner cum banging objects or friends which you can hang out with and talk to!

@Christmas: uhhh yeah, something like that

ARE YOU WRIGGLING TO THE STREETS NOW ARMED WITH YOUR STICKS CUM BALLS, GRAB ANY STRAY WOMEN WALKING PAST AND COMMENCE THE BANGING!?

[Jiro]

You make me sound like some kind of predator! I'll have you all know I am a gentleman. Not a scholar, but just a gentleman.

Dinner first.

[Martyr]

I wouldn't mind having a girl as a "friend," but I've never pulled it off.
All my female friends have either been forced platonic because I only see them at work, they have boyfriends or else I only pretend to like them. Everybody else turned romantic somewhere down the line, sometimes even if they are work relationships or if they had boyfriends.
The only thing that separates a girl friend from a girlfriend is circumstance. Either she's already with somebody else or else I don't like her that much. If I don't like her that much, she can be my friend, but I'm not going to go out alone or frequently with a girl I'm not really interested in.

I wonder what life would be like if I were bi?
I'd probably have a hard time with everybody.
So maybe it's me.

Anyway, one time, this girl came up to me and was all flirty and said, "I just turned 18! Let's hang out."
I was an amateur back then, so I was like, "Yeah. Let's."
But I was agreeing to hang out. She was agreeing to have sex with a 20-something year old - for lyke the first time evar!
I won't divulge anymore of the bad/awkward (it wasn't really bad until certain stuff happened) date, now that I've thought about it, suffice it to say that neither of got what we wanted or expected.

Bottom line is: Maybe I'm wrong. Date probably means all sorts of things to different people, but when it comes to the opposite sex, we gotta think on our feet and make snap decisions on meanings behind words. People protect their hearts with a fortress of deceptions.

[NorthernChaosGod]

To actually respond to your previous post with some seriousness instead of stupidity this time, I don't think it's impossible to "hang out" with a girl. For instance, I've made a new friend through work and she is a lovely and very beautiful girl. Last Thursday we caught up after class and had a coffee and some cookies and it was a jolly good time. I am not out to seduce her or anything, though if she propositioned me then I probably wouldn't object*. There is no romantic notion between us.

As an addition, in my own mind I deem that a date. My definition of a date is actually pretty much exactly the same thing as hanging out, whether or not it's romantically inclined. The problem with my working definition is that people will call queer^ if I go on a "date" will a male buddy But in my mind, nothing separates the two, and "Romantic" is a little variable box that is either checked or not.

*If you ignored the fact that both of us are in relationships already, and both of us like our relationships, and if you also ignored the fact that her boyfriend probably knows more types of martial arts than I do countries, then I'd be all over that.

^Not that there is anything wrong with that, I just don't want to broadcast wrong and disappoint anyone. Oh listen to my arrogance, this isn't making me look better at all.

EDIT: All of the above is in response to Martyr.

@Christmas: uhhh yeah, something like that

Will you go out on a date with me?