I have several scars and they have the stupidest stories behind them.

On the middle finger of my right hand, I have a crescent shaped scar, not from when I flipped off a knife-fighter. I actually got it on a vacation. I was staying with friends in Florida when I was 20 or so and I had all my shower stuff in this travel bag. I reached in to find my shampoo and found my razor instead! Because I am a genius.

That one bled EVERY WHERE. I can remember trying to clean it up (with the shower still going and me still bleeding) going "How the smurf did I bleed on the CEILING. I can't even REACH the ceiling."

I have a scar on my right thigh that is a short, straight line. The summer I was 10 or 11 I had a radio with a broken antenna sitting in my lap. I was trying to fix the antenna, shifted to my left and the radio fell over and cut me.

I have two tiny scars on my right knee. One from when I was five or six I was running down my driveway to catch the school bus and, because I am a super klutz, I hit a loose rock and fell forward onto my knee. When I stood up a rock was sticking out of it. I pulled the rock out and turned into a blood-geyser. I got on the bus and bled into my frilly-girl sock and was so pissed about it. Like I'm pissed now even thinking about it.

The other happened a couple of years ago. I was hiking with my sister and we came to a creek. It was cold so we were gonna jump it. Remember that my sister is a 5'8" Amazon with co-ordination and I'm a 5'4" troglodyte lacking enough spatial abilities to high-five someone. So she takes a flying leap across the creek and lands like a gymnast on the other side.

I work myself up, plant a foot to jump and the bank gives out underneath me. I twist and fall on my right knee and shin into the creek. I had the most painful bruising of my life. Like if I put any weight on that shin it felt like there was a thin metal sheet sliding back and forth between my skin and muscle. For months afterwards. And I got a tiny little dot scar.

I have this really weird, super thin barely visible scar that makes a wobbly line about midway down my right forearm. I have no idea what it's from.

I think that's it. I am a danger to myself and others.

EDIT: Forgot one! I have a scar on my left pinkie finger. When I was.... eight? Maybe nine I was with my grandma picking chrysanthemums out of her flowerbed. She was using a kitchen knife to cut the stalks low. She handed me a bunch without realizing she still had the knife in her hand and sliced my pinkie open like a freaking hot dog or something. I remember being so freaked out about that one.

I also have a lot of scar tissue in my nose from where I faceplanted off a swingset in the third grade. But you can't see it. It's all inside.