I would claim JobSeeker's Allowance as a source of income. Then I would visit the local authority, ask for a list of private landlords, and find a private room to let. I would then get the local authority to put down the deposit through the Rent Deposit Scheme. I would then claim Housing Benefit and Council Tax Benefit so my rent and Council Tax is fully paid.
There's a roof over my head and a source of income. Can you tell that I do this for a living?
An actual job and 2 grand wouldn't be easy though.
edit: BoB, I am pretty sure you could claim contributions-based JSA for 6 months as you have presumably made national insurance contributions. Don't quote me on that as I don't deal with many FORNERS! I am also fairly certain you would not be able to claim income-based JSA as Danielle would be expected to support you. And yes, that is stupid.