Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 15 of 49

Thread: Finally, girls can play video games

  1. #1
    Shlup's Retired Pimp Recognized Member Raistlin's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 1999
    Location
    Spying on Unne and BUO
    Posts
    20,585
    Articles
    101
    Blog Entries
    45
    Contributions
    • Former Cid's Knight
    • Former Editor

    Finally, girls can play video games

    Now I know there are (allegedly) some female posters on this video game message board. I know you pretend to like video games with guns and magic and puzzles, but you don't have to pretend anymore. There's a new computer game just for you, and it's all about being a good little girl in the real world!

    It's so realistic! These are the sort of things you have to accomplish in this game:

    -dye your hair
    -go shopping at the mall
    -cook
    -get a boyfriend who will give you money (because women working? lol)
    -maintain your weight in an "ideal range"

    And you "level up" by completing such arduous challenges as buying stuff, changing your clothes, and flirting.

    I might have to check it out. I've always wondered what it's like to be a girl. I'm sure this game will be very informative.

  2. #2
    tech spirit
    Join Date
    Feb 2003
    Location
    Virgo supercluster
    Posts
    17,950
    Articles
    2
    Blog Entries
    2

    FFXIV Character

    Mirage Askai (Sargatanas)

    Is it just me, or is kotaku completely unreadable?
    -edit-
    I can read it now, and I am totally downloading this game.
    Last edited by Mirage; 10-14-2011 at 04:15 PM.
    everything is wrapped in gray
    i'm focusing on your image
    can you hear me in the void?

  3. #3
    Blood In The Water sharkythesharkdogg's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2002
    Location
    My happy place.
    Posts
    5,795

    It's things like this that really make a good Friday into a great Friday. I love it.

  4. #4
    Feel the Bern Administrator Del Murder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Oakland, California
    Posts
    41,534
    Articles
    6
    Blog Entries
    2
    Contributions
    • Former Cid's Knight
    • Former Administrator
    • Hosted the Ciddies

     

    There needs to be a male version where you gain levels by:

    -working out
    -masturbating
    -channel surfing until you find a sporting event (if you end up on golf and manage to keep your character awake for the first hour then you get bonus exp)
    -playing video games (you have to push the right buttons to make sure he pushes the right buttons, it's ingenious!)
    -going online to talk about video games (bonus exp for post length)
    -going to bars
    -picking up girls at bars (text selector for your pickup lines)
    -getting girlfriends (experience points increase exponentially the more girlfriends you have at once)
    -'going all the way' with your girlfriends and then ignoring them as much as possible afterwards
    -eating as much processed cheese food as you can

    Proud to be the Unofficial Secret Illegal Enforcer of Eyes on Final Fantasy!
    When I grow up, I want to go to Bovine Trump University! - Ralph Wiggum

  5. #5
    Happiness Hurricane!! Pike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Clover Town Street
    Posts
    18,644
    Articles
    13

    FFXIV Character

    Althalor Lightpike (Excalibur)
    Contributions
    • Former Editor
    • Former Cid's Knight
    • Former Social Media Manager

     

    FINALLY, something to play inbetween Alpha Centauri, Civilization IV, X-Com UFO Defense, Europa Universalis 3 and Hearts of Iron II!

    THANKS LADY POPULAR!

  6. #6
    absolutely haram Recognized Member Madame Adequate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Kirkwall
    Posts
    23,356

    FFXIV Character

    Hiero Dule (Brynhildr)
    Contributions
    • Former Cid's Knight

     

    Oh god take cover the combined rage of Miriel, foa, rubah, and Shlup is going to take out half of the continental United States.

    e:

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Murder View Post
    -going online to talk about video games (bonus exp for post length)
    Jesus Christ if you make that a condition then Steve's character would grow so strong he would gain real-world powers from it. (SPOILER)he still wouldn't get laid though

    -eating as much processed cheese food as you can
    To be fair this is actually a pretty core conceit of being a man and I would be more offended by a game that omitted it.

  7. #7
    Nerf This~ Laddy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2006
    Location
    Memphis, TN
    Posts
    11,884
    Articles
    5
    Blog Entries
    10

    This sounds awful. *downloads*



  8. #8
    Ghost 'n' Stuff NorthernChaosGod's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    16,589
    Blog Entries
    2

    Quote Originally Posted by Del Murder View Post
    There needs to be a male version where you gain levels by:

    -working out
    -masturbating
    -channel surfing until you find a sporting event (if you end up on golf and manage to keep your character awake for the first hour then you get bonus exp)
    -playing video games (you have to push the right buttons to make sure he pushes the right buttons, it's ingenious!)
    -going online to talk about video games (bonus exp for post length)
    -going to bars
    -picking up girls at bars (text selector for your pickup lines)
    -getting girlfriends (experience points increase exponentially the more girlfriends you have at once)
    -'going all the way' with your girlfriends and then ignoring them as much as possible afterwards
    -eating as much processed cheese food as you can
    I would play the trout out of that game.

  9. #9
    Feel the Bern Administrator Del Murder's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2001
    Location
    Oakland, California
    Posts
    41,534
    Articles
    6
    Blog Entries
    2
    Contributions
    • Former Cid's Knight
    • Former Administrator
    • Hosted the Ciddies

    Ironically, playing with tits is one of the major quests of the game.

    Proud to be the Unofficial Secret Illegal Enforcer of Eyes on Final Fantasy!
    When I grow up, I want to go to Bovine Trump University! - Ralph Wiggum

  10. #10
    Ghost 'n' Stuff NorthernChaosGod's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2003
    Posts
    16,589
    Blog Entries
    2

    I'll take ten!

  11. #11
    What the bliff Recognized Member
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    17,343
    Blog Entries
    2
    Contributions
    • Former Cid's Knight

    As soon as they said cool pig tails I stopped reading. Pigtails are never cool.

  12. #12
    Recognized Member Jessweeee♪'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    i'm on a sandbar help
    Posts
    19,874
    Blog Entries
    12

    FFXIV Character

    Sarangerel Qha (Twintania)
    Contributions
    • Former Cid's Knight
    • Former Site Staff


  13. #13
    absolutely haram Recognized Member Madame Adequate's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2005
    Location
    Kirkwall
    Posts
    23,356

    FFXIV Character

    Hiero Dule (Brynhildr)
    Contributions
    • Former Cid's Knight

  14. #14

    Quote Originally Posted by Shiny View Post
    As soon as they said cool pig tails I stopped reading. Pigtails are never cool.
    ...But some girls are adorable with pigtails.

  15. #15
    Happiness Hurricane!! Pike's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Clover Town Street
    Posts
    18,644
    Articles
    13

    FFXIV Character

    Althalor Lightpike (Excalibur)
    Contributions
    • Former Editor
    • Former Cid's Knight
    • Former Social Media Manager

     

    Quote Originally Posted by NeoCracker View Post
    Quote Originally Posted by Shiny View Post
    As soon as they said cool pig tails I stopped reading. Pigtails are never cool.
    ...But some girls are adorable with pigtails.
    Like Chiyo-chan.

    But even Chiyo-chan is mad at this game.


Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •