Mike and Lauren went out just once. Lauren called the date “horrific.” Mike, on the other hand, had a great time, and thought Lauren did, too. He texted and called her and got no response.

Unlike you and me, instead of just letting it go, Mike Googled her email address and wrote her a 1,600 word email about how she was a bad person for leading him on AND they were perfect for each other.

How to creep out the entire internet, lovelorn banker edition