Corrupt a Wish: the game

[Gamblet]

Granted, you get your rainbow dash, but you dash so fast that you turn into liquid.

I wish for a Genie Lamp.

[Tigmafuzz]

Granted. You get a genie lamp, but not the genie that comes with it. He's busy going on adventures with Aladdin and being voiced by Robin Williams.

I wish I could divide by zero.orez yb edivid dluoc I hsiw I

[Sylvie]

You could divide by zero.orez yb edivid dluoC, but the pressure keeps you from actually doing so.

I wish I were a cyborg

[Tigmafuzz]

Granted. You are now half Pike. The lower half. And since I don't know for sure if you would consider that a bad thing, you must now also kill John Connor. Good luck.

I wish it were easier to sneak out of bed at 3 in the morning.

[Sylvie]

My wish wasn't corrupted at all.

Anyway, it's now easier for you to sneak out of bed at 3 AM. But it's too easy. You slide out of bed like soap, dive down the hallway, and at 200MPH, you collide head-first with a concrete wall and you are maimed and your fluids are spattered across the walls and the floors.

I wish I could change forms and turn into Nosferatu.

[Tigmafuzz]

Granted. You get bitten by Leslie Nielson and are killed by Mel Brooks. You get sent to an eternal hell of infinite suffering, where you must listen to the pop music of the future, which is all worse than Justin Bieber and Britney Spears combined, while being slowly eaten by a giant worm comprised of other worms. And you don't get any donuts.

I wish I had more scotch.

[Gamblet]

Granted, you drank it and noticed that it was apple juice instead.

I wish for a monkey that I could fight in my house after school.

[Bubba]

The monkey you fight is a worthy adversery. The fight is epic. You exchange blows like true warriors. After seemingly taking the upper hand... the monkey falters slightly. You seize the initiative, grab his head by the fur and skull-smurf him to death.

However, in the exertions... you realise that you've shat yourself.

I wish I could experience a multiple orgasm

[Gamblet]

Granted, you experience a multiple orgasm, but in the morning you discover that you have a vagina.

I wish for a week off from school.

[Hollycat]

granted, you get a week off to mourn the death of every last member of your family

I wish all the wishes in this thread would actually come true from now on.

[Bubba]

Granted. However, your week off school is the result of an assault by the brother of the monkey that you skull-smurfed. You spend the week picking monkey pubes out of your teeth.

I wish I was a spark plug

[Tigmafuzz]

Granted. You get thrown away by a stupid little kid who doesn't know to leave his dad's stuff alone. You live in the garbage dump for thousands of years.

I wish monkeys could teach elephants how to read.

[Hollycat]

my wish didn't get granted

[Tigmafuzz]

WELL NEITHER DID MINE SHAYNE HOW ABOUT THAT!?

...Fine. Everyone's wishes come true from now on, except yours. And now the thread is ruined. Congratulations. Are you happy now? People are going to be wishing for superpowers and control over parallel universes and trout. All thanks to you. You've given power to humanity. Do you understand how stupid humanity is? They're going to ruin everything!

[Hollycat]

monkeys can now teach elephants how to read braille. however, the only way the elephants can write is with human bones

I wish pizza