Corrupt a Wish: the game

[NorthernChaosGod]

Granted, but he likes it and thinks you like him.

I wish I had a better car.

[Sylvie]

You have a better car, but then traffic takes to hovercraft and space shuttles. Your car won't be of any use.

I wish I were really cool

[Værn]

You become about 20° cooler, then die from hypothermia.

I wish for a wireless card that isn't an ancient piece of junk.

[Quindiana Jones]

Granted, but due to your hyper-futuristic device, it creates its own sentience and adds lasers to itself. It then burns your eyes out.

I wish I could find this smurfing spanner.

[Jiro]

you find a spaner but it's too big

I wish for two booze glass thet never end :d

[Hollycat]

Granted, unfortunately for you, he's a masochist and in your attempt to punish him things get out of hand and you accidentally strangle him to death with a rope made from your backhair.


I wish for the ability to fly and the ability to land.

[NeoCracker]

Granted, but you only have this ability while chained to a giant boulder with a three inch chain.

I wish all of your girlfriends were hot like me.

[Sylvie]

Wish granted. I become primarily interested in cock.

I wish I had a bear costume so I could stage a really campy anti-drug-campaign-with-a-skateboarding-bear seminar at my local skate park.

[fire_of_avalon]

You do so and it works. The local skate-park becomes deserted because there are no more semi-covert drug deals happening. The illicit underground economic infrastructure crumbles leading to widespread poverty that cannot be ameliorated by social service programs. Crack babies starve. It's the end.

I wish I did not require sleep!

[Quindiana Jones]

Granted, but now you're a Twilight vampire.

I wish I could design an actual Rocket Mole.

[Sylvie]

foa, there's nothing corrupted about that wish. =

Anyway, wish granted. You design an actual Rocket Mole. It explodes.

I wish Silver Surfer was dead.

[TrollHunter]

Granted, but upon his death hundreds upon hundreds of new horrible horrible silver surfer games are released to the public and everyone is forced to play them to respect his heroism.

I wish I was emperor of a human habitable planet and everyone obeyed me and called me Master.

[Wolf Kanno]

Granted, but the people of your planet don't have any skills whatsoever and your planet remains undeveloped and a food shortage begins, you end up having to order them to cannibalize each other, this causes George W. Bush ends up being elected God Emperor of Earth on a campaign claiming you have weapons of mass destruction on your planet in the form of a zombie apocalypse virus, and convinces all the world powers to pull all human resources into building a space fleet that can travel to your planet and lay the smack down on you. This sudden rise in technological power garners the interest of a sentient race alien penguins who travel to Earth and end up blowing up the planet when the alien ambassador mistook a hand shake as a sexual gesture of superiority. The aliens then enslave the remains of your planet and you are forced spend the rest of your days cleaning up after their piles because the alien race spent all their resources on space travel and planet killers and thus they lack common conveniences like a toilet, TV, and video games. You try to sneak away but when you tried to use their space ship you used a planet killer that turned the planet into a black hole which sucked your escape ship in and was crushed, torn to shreds and reassembled into an alternate universe that seems suspiciously like the Care Bears world, except these Care Bears know that happiness comes from lacking a frontal cortex and thus you spend the rest of your days as a lobotomized Care Bear that helps young prepubescent kids overcome the glum of a rainy day through the power of friendship and working together.

I wished I worked at Squenix

[NeoCracker]

Alright, you work at Squenix. You've just wished something so horrible on yourself, I don't think I need to corrupt your wish.

I mean, I could just say you clean their toilets, but would that really be a worst fate? Even after Burrito Night?

I wish bad music would stop existing.

[TrollHunter]

Granted, but since everyones opinion of 'bad' is completely different all music in every form of it stops existing and as such all sound.

I wish people would stop being morons all the time.