Corrupt a Wish: the game

[Sylvie]

People stop being morons all the time. In fact, they all become smarter than you, and you become the only comparative moron in the world.

I wish for a permanent amulet that brings me one great event of misfortune in exchange for the person below me, the one who grants my wish, being put into pain and crippling with absolutely 0% chance of undermining, reversing, deflecting, or utilizing any other fathomable form of avoidance that could comprehensibly dismantle the gesture. The amulet cannot be taken back, altered, destroyed, or in any way tranquilized from any increment of effect and accuracy that it omits. It cannot be traded or otherwise removed from my person while still retaining effect. It cannot be duplicated or rendered useless by an outside nor inside force, item, or occurrence. While the amulet is in existence, there is 0% chance of altering time in order to wipe its existence; it transcends time and space. Furthermore, science, magic, celestial/universal theories, supernatural beings, Gods/Goddesses, divine energy, or any other flavor of religious or spiritual lifework is unable to intervene with the amulet's effect. Once I am aware of the amulet (which is so through this wish), I cannot be destroyed prior to being in possession of it.

[NeoCracker]

Alright, but prior to the granting of the wish, you take over my account, and are thus the one who granted the wish was yourself.

You're great event of misfortune is your penis shrinks.

I wish people would stop being douche bags and trying to break the game.

[Hollycat]

granted, unfortunately it weighs a freaking TON having been designed for a giant and so it either roots you to one spot for all eternity, unable to move, but while keeping you immortal, or it snaps your neck, you choice.


I wish for diplomatic immunity.

edit: darnit you posted before I was done typing

[NeoCracker]

^_^

[Tigmafuzz]

Granting both wishes above:
NC: People stop trying to break the game, because the game has turned into a terrible beast and destroyed all of mankind. Thus, nobody is left to try and break it.
HC: You are granted diplomatic immunity, however it is only valid for crimes committed on Mars, and you die before the human race has a way to get there.

I wish you all could see what my girlfriend is wearing right now.

[Sylvie]

I see what your girlfriend is wearing right now. However, she sees what I am wearing right now as well. And, well, to keep things short, she's now my girlfriend, not yours.

But wait right there, Cloud. I'm about to serve you due justice for that cruelty I just presented.

I wish that I stole Cloud Strife777's girlfriend.

[Hollycat]

granted, but you didn't even make it out the door before the police caught you and took her back. Also you got arrested.

I wish Genji was made out of brussels sprouts

[Tigmafuzz]

Granted. You ate Genji as brussels sprouts and now you're dead, because being made into brussels sprouts makes people poisonous.

I wish I didn't have to go to sleep hungry tonight.

[GhandiOwnsYou]

Done. You are presented with a marvelous feast consisting of the grilled flesh of all those you love and hold dear.

I wish to become at peace with the world and my place in it.

[Tigmafuzz]

Granted. You evolve into a being of pure consciousness, which turns out to be water vapor. After being tossed about by the water cycle for a few decades, you end up in a toilet. In New Jersey.

I wish Sarah didn't go to sleep so early.

[Hollycat]

granted, she never has to sleep because she is now a statue.

I wish you were all fish and I was a bear.

[Sylvie]

We're all fish, and you are a bear. A hunter kills you.

I wish I could shapeshift my cock.

[fire_of_avalon]

Granted. But one day while altering your genitals into 3D fractal art you sneeze and it gets stuck that way.

I wish I had some good popcorn.

[Sylvie]

You have good popcorn, but once you begin putting it into your mouth, you start influencing it, and it turns into bad news popcorn. They start wearing leather jackets, stealing cars, and calling themselves "The Colonels".

I wish I had something to do tonight.

[Quindiana Jones]

Granted, but CloudStrife777 kicks the trout out of you for stealing his girlfriend again.

I wish Megavideo would just smurf off and die.