Granted, you're Asian girlfriend has a Mexican baby, but then U.S. Border security breaks in and takes the baby, calling it an "anchor baby" you were duped into taking care. The baby is deported back to Mexico and you and your girlfriend are sent to jail, where she makes a new girlfriend names Roxy and you are stuck in the cell Ted Bundy died in. His ghost haunts you every night as you wake up to find him gnawing on some part of your body, it doesn't hurt, but leaves a nasty ectoplasm stain and it makes the prison force you to be on permanent laundry duty. Eventually 20 years pass and you are nicely settling down with your new boyfriend Bubba when the prison is assailed by the Mexican army. Turns out your Mexican Baby grew up to be a revolutionary who overthrew the Mexican government and drove out the drug cartels. As he grew up, he was told his parents were not Mexican and thus he must be a messenger from Heaven sent to save the world. Calling forth back all the mexican immigrants back to Mexico, he transformed Mexico into the world's greatest world power and has begun World War Four to conquer the planet. He has you and your girlfriend freed from prison to act as political confidants. Things are looking good until your son is told by your girlfriend that he wasn't some "miracle baby" but she actually just cheated on you with Juan who lives down the block from you. Fearing his followers will abandon him, he has both you and your girlfriend executed to keep his secret, and he plunges the world into chaos. After conquering the world, he realizes that he had lost his soul along the way and eventually kills himself. His world empire split into a massive civil war by the generals over who gets to rule. The planet is sent back into the Feudal times in the ensuing wars and the story of a Mexican baby born until non-Mexican parents eventually evolves into a global religious order. Meanwhile, In heaven, Ted Bundy finally eats you.
I wish Cabbits existed.
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