Corrupt a Wish: the game

[Hollycat]

For those of you who don't know how to play, here is how this game works:
I will make a wish, and the next poster will grant it in a way that is unexpected or negative!
Then after that you write your own wish and the cycle begins again.

I wish I was a pokemon

[Agent Proto]

You turn into a Magikarp that has swallowed an Everstone, meaning you can never evolve into a Gyarados.

I wish I have won the lottory!

[NeoCracker]

You win the lottery only to be suspect or rigging it, thus revoking your claim to cash and suffering a time apprpriate punishement in jail where you become very 'close' with Bubba. And by that i mean you're his bitch.

I wish the ending of Deus Ex didn't' suck.

[Hollycat]

granted, the ending of Deus Ex is now the most glorious thing ever made by man, so glorious in fact that it has the god like effect of burning your eyes out instantaneous even when viewed through smoked glass, sunglasses, a mirror and nearly headless nick.

I wish for a date with emma watson

[NorthernChaosGod]

Granted, but your penis falls off and you end up blowing your brains out because you can't have sex.

I wish I had more Scotch.

[Værn]

You're unable to open the bottle.

I wish for a lawyer who can prevent my wish from being corrupted.

[G13]

Granted.



I wish I was little bit taller. I wish I was a baller. I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her. I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat and a '64 Impala.

[Agent Proto]

You grow an unnoticeable inch taller. However your other wishes were denied because you used up your only wish to be a little bit taller.

I wish I could join the Ghostbusters team.

[Laddy]

You did. I trust you bought your Comic Con ticket and outfit yet? No? Too bad.

I wish I was the Most Interesting Man In The World.

[Hollycat]

granted, you are sent 10 million years into the future where you are now the only human left, so the slug people put you in a zoo and feed you pellets

[blackmage_nuke]

granted, you are sent 10 million years into the future where you are now the only human left, so the slug people put you in a zoo and feed you pellets

Granted you cease to exist because you didnt make a wish

I wish that this wish does not get ironically twisted on me

[Bubba]

Granted. Although... you've now just wasted your only wish. So instead of having riches beyond your wildest dreams you just have jack-all.

I wish the ring had never come to me...

[TrollHunter]

Golumn takes the ring to free you of such a burden, but he bites your fingers off and takes it to Mount Doom.

I wish I had big luscious melons. Water-melons preferably.

[Hollycat]

granted, however, due to the double entendre of the first part of your wish, they have been implanted in your chest permanently. Unfortunately, they are both of different sizes, the larger being the blue medal winner at the texas state fair and the other being bought from Peter Griffin.

I wish I was a viera.

[NeoCracker]

Granted, but why would you want to be a non-sentient TV?

"Panasonic VIERA TVs combine high picture quality, smart networking, environmental friendliness, and stylish design. They also offer a wide product range and the ability to network with many other devices through features like VIERA Link, the VIERA Image Viewer, and VIERA Connect. This site provides a wealth of detailed information on VIERA products."

I wish people would stop using the term Baller and Balla.