If you could have one household item that you could talk to... which would it be?

[Bubba]

My Bed

Just think how useful that would be. It could tell you when your sheets needed changing. It could keep count of all your conquests. You could even have it talk dirty to you while you are enjoying some "alone time".

I think I'd like mine to have a high level of insecurity though...

(I get in from work one night)

Bed: Where were you last night?
Me: Oh, I fell asleep on the sofa watching a film.
Bed: Oh... how was it?
Me: Erm... it was OK?
Bed: OK?! NO, TELL ME EXACTLY! I WANT TO HEAR EVERY DETAIL!
Me: It wasn't as comfy as you, honest!
Bed: Forget it. I'm never talking dirty to you again!


Have I lost my mind? You decide.

[fire_of_avalon]

Not my toilet. Not any toilet, ever. Or any bathroom objects, really.

[Clo]

I do talk to my household items, and I hate all of them.

[NorthernChaosGod]

I can't imagine any bed talking proudly about the things done on said bed.

[Sylvie]

I've spoken with a good bit of the items in my house, and I don't like it.

[Laddy]

My cereal bowl's a real bitch. I like lamp, though. Lamp's a sweet dude.

[Sylvie]

My kitchen dislikes me. It emits a very strong energy of rape and abuse. I've seen the photographs. My living room is fun, there are two shadows named # and %. They're playful and full of energy. Possibly young teenagers.

[Pike]

I want to know if either my car or my watch counts as a household item. I would love to talk to both of them. My car and I would be bros as we drive around, and my watch and I... well uh... erm, anyways. I would tell it how gorgeous it is. I can do that, right?

[Jiro]

I would talk to my watch too. The poor thing doesn't work but I still take it everywhere. It completes me.

I suppose I could talk to my drawers too. "Yo drawers what should I wear today?" Or maybe my mirror. "Mirror mirror on the wa-" "Cut the trout Jiro"

[NorthernChaosGod]

I like how your mirror would call you by your online handle.

[Tigmafuzz]

Normally I would say computer, but it would be really embarrassing when someone other than me got on.
"Hey Polly, check out this bookmark."
"OHHHHHOHOHOHO MY GAWD "

I actually thought of my refrigerator, but that would be a little lonely for the guy because I don't spend all day in the kitchen.
"Hey buddy, can you tell me what's in you that's about to expire, so I can finish it off before it gets moldy or chunky?"
"I can. But since you only talk to me when you need something, I'm not telling you a damn thing."
"I'm sorry. I just don't have much to do in here when I'm not in the middle of cooking something."
"I don't have ANYTHING to do in here. How do you think I feel, huh?"
"I'm really sorry. I promise I'll talk to you more. How are you feeling?"
"...I'm cold."

I was going to say my favorite pen, because I can never find it when I need it, and I could just call it when I need to; but if my pen could talk I think I would always have it with me anyway, thus eliminating the need for it to talk.

I was going to say my pillow/blanket, because I could console it by holding it/covering myself with it, but I actually have somebody to sleep next to now so that would make my pillow/blanket feel like a third wheel.

Such a conundrum. I'll go with my sink, so I can have someone to make conversation with while I wash the dishes.

[Jiro]

I like how your mirror would call you by your online handle.

Well I do the same thing when talking to myself in the mirror, just figured it'd share my habits.

[Pike]

I like how your mirror would call you by your online handle.

Well I do the same thing when talking to myself in the mirror, just figured it'd share my habits.

I call myself Pike all the time. I bet my household objects would, as well!

[Jiro]

We're weird together! WOO

[Madame Adequate]

My wife.