And Now for the Main Course! December 2011 Ciddies Revelations! ALL DONE!

[Pike]

I'm still here.

In the back.

Eating popcorn.

[Queen Award, First of Her Name]

Imagine this. You’re just walking down the street, whistling a tune, smiling and waving at the folks walking past. It’s a damn nice day, you’re wearing your favourite clothes and your wallet’s fat with cash. You hear a certain Scandinavian running around in the distance screaming “Today is the day for my adventure” and you think, “nah man, today’s the day for my adventure”.

And then a smurfing airship runs you down. What the smurf, right? What kind of jackass would just take his airship and try to sodomise you with it? It doesn’t even matter though. You could try being angry, you could try to talk tit about how you’re going to beat his or her punk ass into the ground, then knead their head until the consistency of skittles is achieved, but face it pal; you’re probably lying half smurfing dead in a pool of your own blood, silently wondering why your mother always said to wear clean underwear. You weren’t hit by a bus – it was an airship. And the surprise made you tit yourself anyway.

Great.

At least it couldn’t get any worse, right? Yeah, famous last words right there.

So which of our fine cast of EoFFers is most likely to be the miserable sod all smurfed up under the airship? Award Qu will tell you, right after this commercial break.

[Queen Award, First of Her Name]

42. MLT Get Hit by an Airship

Suspenseful, drawn-out revelation of the winner...

RSL....................................1
Peegee.................................4
NorthernChaosGod.......................4
Iceglow................................6
Raistlin...............................7
Loony BoB..............................7

So that leaves Flying Arrow vs Hypoallergenic Cactuar…

Hypoallergenic Cactuar.................7
Flying Arrow...........................8

And the winner is…

Flying Arrow!
Wouldn't he pop the airship thus killing us all? OH GODS WHAT HAVE YOU DONE

[Queen Award, First of Her Name]

I think we're all alone in here, Qu. Want to get... comfortable? ;D ;D

Sure, let me just slip out of this mumu.

[Raistlin]

Not showing us the predictions? You mean I'm supposed to actually remember who I picked just a couple of days ago? This is bulltrout.

[fire_of_avalon]

I AM LATE CRAP.

[Del Murder]

FA was one of the more ingenious nominations and I'm glad he won something.

[Madame Adequate]

I think we're all alone in here, Qu. Want to get... comfortable? ;D ;D

Sure, let me just slip out of this mumu.

I'm sure Raist is used to his lover wearing a mumu.

[Wolf Kanno]

I'm just annoyed because my Squenix Overlords rejected the original ending I suggested for FFXIII, that's the real reason I hate it...

Original FFXIII Ending
The party returns to Cocoon and beats the living ever crap out of Orphan and Dysley cause they decided that if they were going to be screwed, its only fair everyone shares their fate. Cocoon powerless begins to crash down on Pulse with Lightning riding it like the cowboy from Dr. Strangelove. While this is going on Sahz and Snow murder Hope and Vanille cause they felt dying in the coming apocalypse was too good for either of them. This of course pisses off Fang and the three of them have an epic battle that makes the stuff from Advent Children look tasteful.

Sensing the upcoming Armageddon, the Chocobos watched in fear as Cocoon came crashing down on Chocogard which had abused the power of Kupo Nuts and was slowly killing off the planet from the nourishment needed for the Moogles, this is important cause the moogles are responsible for the time space continuum and thy were busy on the moon battling an evil witch moogle from the future who was trying to make the time/;space continuum all for her kupo-self. This of course got interrupted by the Moombas who lived on Pulse's second moon and were recycling all the life energy from the planet with there own cause they destroyed their previous world by creating their own version of Superslick that accidentally caused a singularity and wiped out their parallel universe.

As Cocoon crashes, Sahz reveals that the Fal'Cie are actually the souls of the dead Tonberries who created a Dream Cocoon and that is where he and Sahz were from. Originally, they intended Sahz to become Ragnarok so he could ravage the world for a thousand years until Dahj with a rag tag group of adventures including a stupid idiot for a summoner could destroy him by playing his favorite song in the world "Smack my Bitch Up" which was his wedding song with his belated wife. Snow recounts when he was traveling on Pulse as a chocobo and was an evil Dark Hero til he came upon the shrine that held his Cactuar father and he became a Monkadin. He then had to choose becoming a beach bum or a hero who would collect the crystals and restore reality, obviously he chose beach bum for the bitchin facial hair.

Fang reveals that she was killed and sent into the future to become mini-raganrok by the four fiends (Moogle, Chocobo, Cactaur, and Moomba) and eventually she would transform into her ultimate form of the Tonberry to plunge the world into an eternal time loop unitl a group of four Imps in Onion Gear would come and slay her. Lightning interupts this whole fest to reveal she's actually not really a member of the military but actually a young boy whose village was destroyed and was maimed by the evil time witch moogle, she was injected with the genes of the Chocobo and became a a chick whose mind and memories have been screwed with by the evil powers that be, she lost her memory and convinced herself that she was actually a SOL...soldier and once the Chocobos are wiped out, magic and her half chocobo self would fade into memory now that the Chocogard was going to be destroyed.

After this two hour finale, Boko of the Chocobos appears and cast Choco-Meteor with the power of the eight crystals plus one, and blows Cocoon out of the sky and wipes out humanity. Flash forward a thousand years into the future we begin where Chocobo Dungeon begins...

That's right, XIII is a prequel to Chocobo Mystery Dungeon, we've already played Final Fantasy XV and XVI!

[Queen Award, First of Her Name]

43. MLT Be Driving the Airship
Nomination leader(s): Cid, Jiro, Shiny, ShlupQuack & The Captain

The Nominees
Cid
Hypoallergenic Cactuar
Jiro
Shiny
ShlupQuack
The Captain

[Pike]

The Nominees
Cid
Hypoallergenic Cactuar
Jiro
Shiny
ShlupQuack
The Captain

I honestly can't decide whether Cid or The Captain is the funnier choice here

[Queen Award, First of Her Name]

Can you picture it? This is the best day of your life. Some distant Nigerian relative died and left you his fortune – and it wasn’t a scam. You’ve got cash out the wazoo, so much so that you’ve just bought a brand new airship. It handles like a dream, is pimped out beyond belief and you’re taking it on the maiden voyage. This is gonna be one to remember.

As you cruise past, you’re getting sweet looks from birds and dudes and ladies. Everybody wants a piece of you. You’re on top of the world and ain’t nobody can fly as high as you. You gaze out at the horizon and see a strange sight. There’s a crazy man with a horned helmet sailing through the sky. You hear the faint sound of him shouting about adventures, before he starts his descent towards the ground. Distracted, you don’t notice your own airship starting to descend.

Then it happens. There’s a thud, a bit of a squelch, and then a crash as your airship plows into the ground. “Balls” you shout, repeatedly, as you peer over the side. There, in the middle of the street, is a person, so smurfed up that you can’t even tell if it’s a dude or a chick. Seriously, you just smurfing nailed them with your airship. Tough break, huh? Better get on the phone to the insurance agency, because I don’t think that bloody mess on the street is going to be able to do much to help you out.

And that’s the reason you hate Scandinavians.

[fire_of_avalon]

TIL Mayhem applies to airships too. I saw him, hanging off the... airshippy part.

[Queen Award, First of Her Name]

I'm just annoyed because my Squenix Overlords rejected the original ending I suggested for FFXIII, that's the real reason I hate it...

Original FFXIII Ending
The party returns to Cocoon and beats the living ever crap out of Orphan and Dysley cause they decided that if they were going to be screwed, its only fair everyone shares their fate. Cocoon powerless begins to crash down on Pulse with Lightning riding it like the cowboy from Dr. Strangelove. While this is going on Sahz and Snow murder Hope and Vanille cause they felt dying in the coming apocalypse was too good for either of them. This of course pisses off Fang and the three of them have an epic battle that makes the stuff from Advent Children look tasteful.

Sensing the upcoming Armageddon, the Chocobos watched in fear as Cocoon came crashing down on Chocogard which had abused the power of Kupo Nuts and was slowly killing off the planet from the nourishment needed for the Moogles, this is important cause the moogles are responsible for the time space continuum and thy were busy on the moon battling an evil witch moogle from the future who was trying to make the time/;space continuum all for her kupo-self. This of course got interrupted by the Moombas who lived on Pulse's second moon and were recycling all the life energy from the planet with there own cause they destroyed their previous world by creating their own version of Superslick that accidentally caused a singularity and wiped out their parallel universe.

As Cocoon crashes, Sahz reveals that the Fal'Cie are actually the souls of the dead Tonberries who created a Dream Cocoon and that is where he and Sahz were from. Originally, they intended Sahz to become Ragnarok so he could ravage the world for a thousand years until Dahj with a rag tag group of adventures including a stupid idiot for a summoner could destroy him by playing his favorite song in the world "Smack my Bitch Up" which was his wedding song with his belated wife. Snow recounts when he was traveling on Pulse as a chocobo and was an evil Dark Hero til he came upon the shrine that held his Cactuar father and he became a Monkadin. He then had to choose becoming a beach bum or a hero who would collect the crystals and restore reality, obviously he chose beach bum for the bitchin facial hair.

Fang reveals that she was killed and sent into the future to become mini-raganrok by the four fiends (Moogle, Chocobo, Cactaur, and Moomba) and eventually she would transform into her ultimate form of the Tonberry to plunge the world into an eternal time loop unitl a group of four Imps in Onion Gear would come and slay her. Lightning interupts this whole fest to reveal she's actually not really a member of the military but actually a young boy whose village was destroyed and was maimed by the evil time witch moogle, she was injected with the genes of the Chocobo and became a a chick whose mind and memories have been screwed with by the evil powers that be, she lost her memory and convinced herself that she was actually a SOL...soldier and once the Chocobos are wiped out, magic and her half chocobo self would fade into memory now that the Chocogard was going to be destroyed.

After this two hour finale, Boko of the Chocobos appears and cast Choco-Meteor with the power of the eight crystals plus one, and blows Cocoon out of the sky and wipes out humanity. Flash forward a thousand years into the future we begin where Chocobo Dungeon begins...

That's right, XIII is a prequel to Chocobo Mystery Dungeon, we've already played Final Fantasy XV and XVI!

Best acceptance speech ever.

[Queen Award, First of Her Name]

43. MLT Be Driving the Airship

Suspenseful, drawn-out revelation of the winner...

RSL....................................1
Jiro...................................2
Shiny..................................3
Hypoallergenic Cactuar.................4
ShlupQuack.............................7

So that leaves Cid vs The Captain…

Cid...................................13
The Captain...........................15

And the winner is…

The Captain!
Fortunately The Captain never got promoted, because 'The Commodore' doesn't fit as well with this award.