Quote Originally Posted by fire_of_avalon
I lost out on writing the sexiest male speech. But it's probably better this way because Laddy's “I would smurf that guy and that guy … and that guy” jokes will be a lot funnier than mine.

Mine would just be sad. “Awww, that girl thinks she could get with... somebody.”

Undertaking the Best Male speech is really taking me to task, though, to really capture what makes each of the fabulous gentlemen the best of the best. I keep trying to imagine myself in a bar with the whole group, just as a mild mannered observer, to capture the men in a relaxed atmosphere.

This fantasy invariably ends with me schnackered, dancing on the bar and getting bailed out of lock-up by Del Murder. Art imitates life indeed. But each man, in some way, is a representative of the best in each of us. At any rate, the only thing that could make these men better are beards, so I've provided them with one if they were lacking. Here are your nominees for Best Male!

blackmage_nuke
blackmage_nuke is likely the most underrated EoFFer of all time so it's great to see him getting the recognition he deserves with this nomination. With posts that are short, sweet but keenly observant and almost always hilarious, blackmage_nuke may not be the poster our forum wants … well I mean we do want him, but he's also the poster we need!

blackmage_nuke is the unexpected hilarity, the gutshot to the funny bone, of EoFF.
(SPOILER)

Also great to see him growing out the whiskers.

Del Murder
If Cid is our daddy and Loony BoB is our crazy uncle, then Del Murder is our neighbor that's probably a former hitter for the Gug... Goo... He's probably Bruce Willis from The Whole Nine Yards. What I mean to say is he's charming, funny, witty, caring, and he's damn good with a Glock 17. Or so I've heard. The mastermind behind some of the most uncannily creative moves for the forums, we don't even know how lost we'd be without his subtle guidance.

Del Murder is the wisdom, the spirit guide of EoFF

(SPOILER)

Do you have any idea how long it took to find this? All for an in-joke? Well, not that long. Also, sorry it's not a full beard.


Jiro
The Thunder from Down Under.

I just really wanted to say that. Jiro is a seesaw, Jiro is a sweetheart, Jiro is a lot of things. But most of all, Jiro is always up for a good time, a comrade in arms to the people who lack one, a man with a thirst for new times and new journeys, and a damned fine Excel Connect 4 player.

Jiro is the adventurer of EoFF.
(SPOILER)

This was the fist picture I found when I googled “Australia with a beard.”

Also, don't google “Australian beard.” Bad times.

NorthernChaosGod
Hear me out on this one, NCG is a really nice guy, he's funny and smart and has a good sense about him. But I swear to God the man likely has the fairest shake of anyone to drink me under the table. When a man sends you text messages for cocktail recommendations on a Sunday you know tit is about to get real.

NCG is our Id, our drunklust, and he's probably dancing on that bar right beside me.

(SPOILER)

I googled beardhawk. Like mohawk? I got hawk's-beard. Deal with it.


Psychotic
What can I say about dear Paul that isn't going to get me in trouble. Not a lot. This guy is like an expert hunter/tracker/stalker. He's like freaking Aragorn. I think, in fact, he was Aragorn one time. Do you have a second account? He can sniff it out. Do you need to know where someone is from? He'll know. Do you need someone who knows this forum better than I know the back of my hand? Then you need Psychotic. Formerly integral to disarray and spam, Paul is now as ingrained in EoFF history as any inactive oldbie from the “Golden Age” ever was.

Psychotic is our past, present and our yet to come (but he is totally not as scary as the Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come.)

(SPOILER)

Plus this guy has a righteous awesome beard.


Rantz Rantz Revolution
Racistzien can throw out a pun in seconds that would take me all day to think up (and sometimes all day to get.) He's chivalrous, he's sweet, he knows a lot about computers and stuff, but he also knows a lot about being a good friend. Anyone who's talked to the guy for more than a minute can tell you he's the best of the best. I dare you not to like him.

Rantz is the whimsy and the charm that keeps us coming back for more.

(SPOILER)

D'awwww

sharkythesharkdogg
I know what you're thinking. You're thinking that I'm going to give some kind or schmoozy doozy of a write-up for sharky because of some imagined relationship everyone wants to imprint on us.

What I'm going to tell you is pretty simple. The well of this man's heart runs deep. He gives of himself to all who'd ask. Chances are if you've spoken to him he's offered you an ear to speak in, a back to lean on and a shoulder to cry on. And advice about the weird knocking noise your car is making.

sharkythesharkdogg represents our compassion.

(SPOILER)

And he has, like, one point of articulation!

Bring on the Winner, who represents the best our boys have to offer!