One:
All I want to do is answer category five.

Two:
DEATH TO THE DEVIL'S ASS BULB.

Three:
Bong water.

Four:
Sarcoma. It's a tuhmah

Five:
"I can remember, once not too long ago mind you, being absolutely smashed at a reggae/rockabilly club with dreadlocks to me firm arse and pointed Tony Llama cowboy boots with pert silver tips and a turquoise shaft (a bit shorter than my own, manly, throbbing, purpleish hued shaft, oh ho ho, when I saw two blokes not exactly unlike you hoisting above their heads a perfect replica of Michelangelo's "Moses" and dunking it repeatedly in a sloe gin fizz, of course such horrid haberdashers as themselves would order such an effemin- OOF,"

Iceglow was suddenly interrupted by a wild haymaker from foa, chipping an eyetooth and mousing his cheekbones.

"Horsetrout, Steve." she replied.