Mario's a doctor in the same way that Dr. Phil is a doctor. He's not, he just pretends to be so he can make money.
EDIT: Dammit Pike. I thought I had erased that from my memory.
You've got mononucleosis, halitosis, scoliosis, fifteen days is my prognosis
You need red and blue pill doses!
You've got scabies and phlebitis, chronic rabies, hepatitis,
You'll be brave and you'll unite us (then you'll die of menengitis)