Flies on the floor... after being poked out by an umbrella

[Bubba]

I watch my umbrella when around people but you sure as hell bet I intentionally jump in puddles to splash them though

If some cute/sexy girl wanted to get me wet I sure as hell wouldn't mind

Isn't it supposed to be the other way around?

If you put a sausage in a bun that already has ketchup in it... /smug

OK, so we only got as far as page two before an innocent thread on umbrella etiquette turns into a sexual innuendo-fest...

... and this is the reason why I return to EOFF on a daily basis!

[Loony BoB]

Danielle is the most useless umbrella user that ever used an umbrella. I keep my distance.

[Quindiana Jones]

Don't keep your distance, BoB. You've gotta get in close and use your elbows!

[Loony BoB]

I can't get in close! She repeatedly stabs me with the little end bits of the umbrella! Elbows won't help me there.

[Quindiana Jones]

Well then. I see only one option available.

Uppercut.

[Loony BoB]

She's stronger than she looks. I'm not gonna risk it.

[Quindiana Jones]

Ah, it's that low centre of gravity, yeah. You'd never get any real purchase. I dunno if you can manage it, but if you became Poseidon, you could just blow the umbrella out of her hand? Though, like I said, I dunno if Scotland has that yet.

[Carl the Llama]

I can't get in close! She repeatedly stabs me with the little end bits of the umbrella! Elbows won't help me there.

Get in close and do the gentlemanly thing and hold her umbrella for her, you get to walk side by side AND you stay eye poke free.

[Bubba]

I can't get in close! She repeatedly stabs me with the little end bits of the umbrella! Elbows won't help me there.

Get in close and do the gentlemanly thing and hold her umbrella for her, you get to walk side by side AND you stay eye poke free.

...and dry!

Triple-whammy. This is good advice.

[Loony BoB]

I can't get in close! She repeatedly stabs me with the little end bits of the umbrella! Elbows won't help me there.

Get in close and do the gentlemanly thing and hold her umbrella for her, you get to walk side by side AND you stay eye poke free.

I don't mind the rain, so it's no big deal for me. Certainly not enough of a big deal to hold a small, pink umbrella and hope that it's going to keep two people dry (it won't).

[Bubba]

A true warrior likes to feel nature on his fists...

[Pheesh]

A true warrior is going to end up with a true cold.

[Quindiana Jones]

Just wear an anorak. Putting the hood up is optional. I have a giant afro which can keep my head dry for more than half an hour in rain, so that's usually sufficient.

[Carl the Llama]

I have a giant afro

Pix or gtfo.

[Iceglow]

I have a giant afro

Pix or gtfo.

No really he does. It's a giant Jew-fro more like than afro but he really does.

Also: Towns get in close, carry her umbrella and angle it so it only covers her. This way you're walking side by side, you get to know she's dry and your face isn't going to be unexpectedly stabbed and you still get to enjoy the feeling of the rain wrecking your hair.

As for me, I' 5'10 so I get the same issues, god you should try walking down Oxford Street on a rainy Saturday or even worse, at Christmas time. You can duck, weave, shove, box your way through and the honest truth is you'll still be hurt. I've carried umbrella's when it's really bad out but in general I can never be bothered, carrying one when it rains on my way in to work means carrying it home when it is likely going to be dry; too much hassle. Sometimes I'll throw a hood up if I have one, my new leather winter jacket has 2 of these it's weird. Mostly though I'll simply carry on walking and deal with whatever happens to my hair when I get to my destination.