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Thread: Defeating the Shinra

  1. #1
    Eggstreme Wheelie Recognized Member Jiro's Avatar
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    Default Defeating the Shinra

    There is no doubt that the Shinra are an evil corporation. Even under new leadership in the form of Rufus, the complete and utter pursuit of economic gain at the expense of the environment is rampant. This is absolutely horrendous. Our party, comprised mostly of AVALANCHE members, are determined to stop Shinra, no matter what. The might of this corporation is undeniable, but without money, they cannot fund their research, recruit train and equip their troops, nor book trips across the damn ocean.

    When the Turks took Aerith, tit got real personal. Nobody takes mah bitch and gets away with it, ya know? That's why, on that day, I swore I would undo the Shinra Corporation entirely. I would take them apart piece by piece until they were nothin' more than a hunka junk as Barret would say. But how to do this? Sure, I could swing my sword around and smurf tit up. It'd feel good. But there is a time and a place for everything, and sometimes one must exercise subtle techniques.

    We can fight our way through their soldiers. We can infiltrate their headquarters, defeating enemy after enemy, trashing their research projects and sexually harassing their employees. We can even beat the smurf out of their vending machines.

    But nothing, my friends, nothing compares to the ruinous effect of flushing their toilet ten billion times to drive up their water bill and financially bankrupt them. What now, mothersmurfers?

    Shinra's economic power is about to go down the titter.

    They see me rolling. They hating, patrolling.
    Trying to catch me riding dirty.


  2. #2
    Jinx's Avatar
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    Followed by leaving their lights on....for a REALLY long time.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  3. #3
    Recognized Member VeloZer0's Avatar
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    Well they are a power company, so they probably promote policies of leaving lights on.
    >>Am willing to change opinions based on data<<

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    Famine Wolf Recognized Member Sephex's Avatar
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    If you flush the toilet in the Shinra HQ 4,523,967,143,942,143 times, you will be able to revive Aeris late in the game.

  5. #5
    Jinx's Avatar
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    Sephex, I thought if you flushed it enough times you got a summon better than KotR....:S
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  6. #6
    Famine Wolf Recognized Member Sephex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fierytempest View Post
    Sephex, I thought if you flushed it enough times you got a summon better than KotR....:S
    That's only on the XBox1080 remake version.

  7. #7
    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Tigmafuzz's Avatar
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    I like this thread.
    Face

    ส็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็็༼ ຈل͜ຈ༽ส้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้้

  8. #8
    Trial by Wombat Bubba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sephex View Post
    If you flush the toilet in the Shinra HQ 4,523,967,143,942,143 times, you will be able to revive Aeris late in the game.
    OK, so for the last 24 hours I've been attempting this and I've only reached 18,432 flushes. I'm starting to think that I might just give up.

    Square are evil for devising such a complicated revival process. It's almost as if they never intended her to be revived...

    I've worked out if I managed to hone my time down to 1 second per flush... then 100 years from now I will have acheived 3,041,280,000 flushes.

    You know what, I'm just gonna leave it.

  9. #9
    Jinx's Avatar
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    Just throw a Phoenix Down on her, Bubba.
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  10. #10
    Trial by Wombat Bubba's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by fierytempest View Post
    Just throw a Phoenix Down on her, Bubba.
    I always wondered why they never tried that...

  11. #11
    Jinx's Avatar
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    Because as Spoony once pointed out, characters can't do in cut scenes what they can do in combat. I mean, really. You've never seen Tifa Dolphin Kick anyone out of combat, have you?
    Quote Originally Posted by Fynn View Post
    Jinx you are absolutely smurfing insane. Never change.

  12. #12
    Trial by Wombat Bubba's Avatar
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    True, but I did see them use a Phoenix Down out of combat. I did it myself on the menu screen. Why couldn't they just do that?

  13. #13

    Default

    Disillusion! The Sleep Spell doesn't put characters to sleep, it just makes them too drousy to act. The character blacks out only when their HP reaches 0 and when the party is all KO'd it's assumed the monsters eat them and soldiers shoot them in the crotch and the head multiple times for good measure.
    So, basically, being KO'd in combat is not the same as being killed therefore Phoenix Downs cannot be used to revive the dead otherwise we'd never be able to defeat a single damned boss because Phoenix Downs and Revive materia are all over the place and while bosses may be in some way dumb, they're not THAT dumb. Obviously, if Sephiroth can plan far enough ahead to drop a mutating arm of Jenova on top of you that you have to battle, he knows he can drop a Phoenix Down on it to revive it so it will kill your weakened party as you do your stupidass victory dance.
    But I am still curious why non-canon Genesis is still alive according to the secret ending of doc.

  14. #14
    Eggstreme Wheelie Recognized Member Jiro's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Bubbaforever View Post
    True, but I did see them use a Phoenix Down out of combat. I did it myself on the menu screen. Why couldn't they just do that?
    She wasn't in the party so you couldn't do it. She was knocked out too, so she couldn't say the magic words and rejoin the party.

    They see me rolling. They hating, patrolling.
    Trying to catch me riding dirty.


  15. #15
    Huh? Flower?! What the hell?! Administrator Psychotic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jiro View Post
    There is no doubt that the Shinra are an evil corporation. Even under new leadership in the form of Rufus, the complete and utter pursuit of economic gain at the expense of the environment is rampant. This is absolutely horrendous.
    smurf off with your leftist eco-warrior bulltit mate.

    Shinra have god damn enriched the lives of everyone. They've brought safety, security and most importantly of all, technology to people. That toilet you're flushing... what the smurf kind of world do you think we'd be living in if it wasn't for flushing toilets? The streets would be lined with faecal matter. Did you ever go into the sewers beneath Don Corneo's mansion? This would be your daily life if it wasn't for Shinra.

    Look at Wutai or Fort Condor. You ever been to those places? I bet you smurfing post on your tumblr about how ideallic they are and how you'd just love to visit someday. I've been to both and let me tell you they are just holes in the ground where they entertain themselves by drawing faces on turnips and hanging out in giant useless wooden pagodas all day.

    Who the smurf do you think powered the computer you're using right now you jackass? Seriously. How short-sighted are you? Hypocritical son of a bitch. Don't even get me started on how they're the only ones doing anything about this Sephiroth jerkwad or these WEAPON cockmunches.

    whatever man

    AVALANCHE is awesome

    yeah let's set technology back by thousands of years and murder countless innocent people with our terrorist bombs in the process

    that sounds like a lark!

    god

    smurfing

    DAMN.

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