 
 
					
				this is 3 days in a row of boozing for me. it's like being in college again fond memories
st. patrick's day is next weekend. i'm going to a party at my brother's, but probably won't bring my computer. if you get a text from me next saturday, you should probably ignore it
 
			
			 
					
						 
					
						 
					
						 
					
				
			
			
			
				 
			
			 
			
				 
 
					
				Why the SMURF was the toilet seat up in the gents'?
 
 
					
				do you mean down? because it should always be up
 
			
			 
					
						 
					
						 
					
						 
					
				
			
			
			
				 
			
			 
			
				 
 
					
				@Denmark: you are correct and I am drunk.
This deserves to be immortalized:
BARFLY: Can I have 20 of those?
BARTENDER: 20 of what?
BARFLY: Whatever the smurf *they* just ordered
 
 
					
				20 of any drink sounds great, i can see why you'd want to order that
 
			
			 
					
						 
					
						 
					
						 
					
				
			
			
			
				 
			
			 
			
				 
 
					
				Aye, but it was Ecstasy, so it was only about 2 shots split amongst 10 people
My real entertainment is a 50-year-old woman who thinks I kinnae read her.
I know how a mother thinks, I happen to have one.
 
			
			 
					
						 
					
						 
					
						 
					
				
			
			
			
				 
			
			 
			
				 
 
					
				In faith, do as thou wishest; for I this night hath counterfeted as one ten years my junior
 
 
					
				one thing i've noticed is that you should really start speaking english
 
			
			 
					
						 
					
						 
					
						 
					
				
			
			
			
				 
			
			 
			
				 
 
					
				In fact, I have a dilemma; the body language of a friend doth indicate that she thinketh I have an unrequited passion for her. 'Tisn't the case, but I wish not to harm one so undeserving of such...
 
 
					
				polite "no, thank you" should suffice
be happy to be enjoyed by the ladies, though, bro
alternatively: methinks you doth protest too much
 
			
			 
					
						 
					
						 
					
						 
					
				
			
			
			
				 
			
			 
			
				 
 
					
				She's 50, bro
 
 
					
				any female attention is positive female attention, bro
 
			
			 
					
						 
					
						 
					
						 
					
				
			
			
			
				 
			
			 
			
				 
 
					
				NOT WHEN SHE'S THE SAME AGE AS ME FRAKKIN' MOTHER