Gold Saucer Mog

[Jiro]

See all these kids?



I believe that this "game" in the Gold Saucer is actually an interactive video. These kids grow up to be the moogles living in the Narshe mine. It's so obvious I can't believe I never noticed before.

[Tigmafuzz]

But where's the coal?

[Jinx]

FFVI came BEFORE FFVII. Obviously these are the moogles in FFIX.

[Hollycat]

I don't understand, I didn't give him enough kupo nuts to have that many kids.

[Sephex]

I don't understand, I didn't give him enough kupo nuts to have that many kids.

Well, it doesn't exactly work like that. Kupo nuts are basically viagra. Obviously, the kupo nuts make it easier for moogles to perform "Slam Dance."

[Sylvie]

I believe that this "game" in the Gold Saucer is actually an interactive video.

Golly, Jiro, I think you may be onto something!

[TheAbominatrix]

The game is an incubation chamber for moogles. These moogles are raised to work behind the scenes at Gold Saucer, just like Oompa Loompas.

Gold Saucer is built on the backs of slaves! You should be ashamed of yourselves for supporting this madness.

[Mercen-X]

The logic of the innerworkings of the Final Fantasy universe are just ridiculous enough for your theory to be plausible!

[Jiro]

FFVI came BEFORE FFVII.

And? Fire Emblem 7 is the tale of the parents of the heroes of Fire Emblem 6? IT'S ALMOST THE SAME SET UP

[Jinx]

Well your butt is the story of your face.

So.

[Sephex]

Well your butt is the story of your face.

So.

[chionos]

Jiro, I'm sorry to have to tell you like this, in front of everyone, but those moogles all die soon after the in-game video. You see, there was a famine immediately after the events of the video, and kupotrees stopped producing kupo nuts. So Mr. Moogle chopped down his shroom-home and fed it to his mooglings. Unfortunately Mr. Moogle wasn't much of a survivalist and didn't know that this particular mushroom, the kind with a red cap with yellow spots on it, was poisonous to moogles. He came home one day from the city where he'd tried begging for food (but instead got jumped by Prowlers and had his pom-pom cut off) to find his mooglings lying around the yard, his youngest face down in the stream, blood and vomit streaming away from his tiny white head. He found Mrs. Moogle in the stump where their home used to be, a shattered Heal Materia in the floor beside her. Her fur stood on end, her feet were scorched, and the floor under her feet was charred and smoking. Attached to her frazzled limp pom-pom Mr. Moogle found a Lightning Materia. It wasn't leveled. Mr. Moogle wondered how many Bolt1's it took to kill his precious moogie. He stumbled back out to the yard, tears blurring the yard into a pool of green filled with white fuzzy spots. He found the Enemy Lure Materia in the tangled roots of a tree where he'd left it many years before, and attached it to the single slot in his Beggar's Outfit. The evening filled with the noxious odors of a Malboro and the malicious buzzing of swarming Kyuvilduns as Mr. Moogle walked into the woods, never to be seen again.

This part of the "interactive video" was removed at the last second from the official release of the game. Unfortunate, really.

So, yeah, sorry to burst your bubble.

[Jiro]

[Sylvie]

*slaps*

Sit up straight, bitch.

[Jiro]

how do you even beat that smurfing game? mog always fell on his stupid face. what a dumbass