It's a conspiracy, the likes of which goes all the way up to the President of the U. S. of A. I knew a guy who tried expose the conspiracy, and well, he sort of just disappeared (for those of you with a few years under your belt here, remember Gigaguess? Notice how he doesn't post here anymore? Yeah).
If you want to try and expose this corruption you're going to need to grab Nicholas Cage and set off to steal The Bill of Rights; Gigaguess mentioned something about a code written on the back in a sort of pidgin Arabic-Slavic mix that reveals the true nature of the conspiracy. Good luck, I fear I've said too much already. If you don't hear from me within the next few weeks assume that Pike and her band of conspirators have gotten ahold of me.