We start our Ciddies journey each half year with the light hearted sort of ambling that is the Most Likely To Get Together award. This award is perhaps the pinnacle of joke awards, and as such, the Ciddies is actually one big downwards sliding suckfest from this point onwards. However, while in previous years there have been some quirky couples suggested and many a ribbing, this Ciddies nominees are all very...bland. I don't mean to detract from the nominees themselves, oh no; it's not their fault that their potential copulation gives me neither joy nor pleasure. It is the fault of the rest of you sorry sods who can't be creative, funny or at the goddamn least, literal.
Let's start with the first thing you did wrong. Iceglow is nominated twice here. Once to hook up with Quin, once to hook up with MILF. Now I have to give you some credit here, because for all Iceglow's bragging about sticking it to Quin's sister (and mother!), we all know it's because our man Iceglow actually has a raging hardon for the ol' Harle-meister. Who can blame him though? But despite the one inkling of success in your entire grotesque bodies, you have also failed to realise a very simple point.
This is Iceglow!
Okay so that's not a very flattering photo.
How about this one?
Now that we've covered that, let's move onto the most important oversight. Where are my nominations here? What, am I not smurfing good enough for you? I fly across the goddamn world to get to the USA, then I flew around the
entire smurfing country trying to visit you jackasses. It hurts me deep inside my little Australian heart that none of you enjoyed my company enough to want to be with me
Well smurf you guys. Enjoy your goddamn Ciddies and I hope Iceglow keeps you warm at night.