DREAMS

[Fireglass]

Last night, I had a dream that I made a low-content post on the forums at Something Awful. I tried to go back and edit a cool, content-filled story with pictures and everything, but I got banned before I could come up with an ending.

[Agent Proto]

Some of my favorite dreams involved my dad. You see, my dad has been dead for quite awhile, so it's quite welcoming when I have dreams about him. It's like he's still around, even though he isn't.

[Shorty]

foaface and I will henceforth be interpreting the dreams in this thread.

LET'S POST ABOUT AWESOME DREAMS WE HAVE

Last night I had a dream I was living in Winterfell, and Jon Snow was my twin. Ned Stark actually hugged me and called me Samantha, cos you know, I was his bastard daughter.

So, anyways, I dreamed that Jon went into that underground whorehouse from the books, and in the bottom was a huge room with a lake that looked like Moria. He was trying to drown himself cos he's all emo and sad about being a bastard (even though I was one too) so I went to save his butt. But the the Watcher in the Water jumped out and started to flood the place. But, the whorehouse kept its whores locked up in gates, like the ones on Titanic. And only the whores from the gates ahead of you could unlock your gate. So Jon and I are literally like, drowning, hoping these whores will save us. But we got out okay.

And then following true Game of Thrones style, Jon and I started a Cersei-Jaime type twinship IF YOU CATCH MY DRIFT.

Sam: Your dream is about you being the heroine in real life with the people around you but you succumb to your own weaknesses (aka twincest with Jon Snow who is actually a really beautiful bastard). Also, you wish you could have been cast in Lord of the Rings and possibly Game of Thrones.

THIS IS GOING TO BE FUN!

[fire_of_avalon]

I will get out my crystal ball and tell your fortunes. Real fortunes are fifty thousand dollars. For free I give you this crap.

I had a dream that the singer for Alkaline Trio wanted to kiss me the other night but I woke up before it happened.

I think this is about your concern that some things, perhaps things that are "fated" won't come to pass. Or you just want to makeouts with Matt Skiba

I might post a specific dream later, but I often have dreams months apart that take place in the same world. For example, I had a dream once where I saw a bathroom being under construction. Months later I had another dream that took place in the same setting. The bathroom was complete. Feels cool when I wake up to realize my subconscious is that organized.

You're growing as a person. Your subconscious is showing you progress and finished products on your journey. Also you poop a lot.

I had a dream I hunted with Teddy Roosevelt. We were in the middle of the savanna and we nabbed a rhino. Then he asked if I would be his vice-president.

You have lofty goals and you're quite sure you're going to achieve them. Also, I am not touching the rhino horn joke with a 10 foot pole.

I have weird recurring themes in my dreams. Some of these include:

Malls
Movie theaters
Nazis
Work
Being chased (usually by Nazis)

This is your agoraphobia at work. I think you're uncomfortable with something in your life so you dream of places that would make you uncomfortable. Also, you're Jewish.

I vary rarely remember my dreams.

I did have a recurring dream when I was kid though where I was running through this underground cavern inhabited by monkees. They all had guns that shot acid and the pesky primates were doing their level best to shoot me!

I always managed to get through to the end though where there was a HUGE mother-smurfing Ape about 20 feet tall blocking my path. I would always wake up at this point.

I asked my best friend once what he thought it meant. He was quite blunt and implied that I may be sexually attracted to men.

This dream is about the fear that your past, when you were "lesser" (Less smart, less experienced, less "evolved") will come back to impede your future. Also yeah you like dudes. But who doesn't, really?

[Shorty]

I totally want to make out with the Skeebs.

(SPOILER)I had a dream a while ago that I was living at this troutty "apartment" with my lady and it turned out that this guy we hate that we used to have sex with sometimes was living there too, with his boyfriend. We kind of ignored it. Then the police were at the door and in this world apparently "selective services" involves being brought to some kind of intervention-esque room only with other candidates, and there's like a handful (if any) of a random selection of your relatives there in this old, decaying police office room. They did not handcuff me on the way there because I wasn't being arrested, it was just some weird required procedure. I remember in the police car I put my switchblade in some console. I was taken to this room and the only relative I had there was my older cousin Joley and some faceless guy she was married to. She said hello to me and was really nice. I never liked her really. But she got really close to the side of my head, used her tongue to smell underneath my scalp by licking behind my earlobe, and said "you have such a sweet natural aroma."

I said, "what do you mean?"

She said, "I can tell that you think about the king sometimes."

"The king?"

She giggled. "Evil Knievel."

So then there was some troutty half-ass ceremony and before I even spoke, the cops told me I was absolutely not acceptable material for the military. They cut me loose, drove me back to the apartment, and I remembered I forgot my switchblade in the other cop's car. I just materialized a new one in my pocket.

I got back in the dimly lit apartment and I heard two guys violently and savagely smurfing. I figured it was him and his prettyboy. So I think I just sat with my girl in some room, and the next thing I remember I'm talking to him and his boyfriend. My girlfriend is laying on the couch and giggling as I pretend to care about what they say. His boyfriend was cooing and squirming around in a sexual fit right next to me (he was sort of attractive, but I decided he wasn't) and he himself was on my other side, and he asked,

"I want you to top me in the bedroom."

I said "smurf no."

He started complaining. "Why not?"

I said "Because I don't need you anymore. You sucked my dick and that's it, a long time ago."

He went back to the bedroom with his boy and they smurfed some more.

The rest is all blurry, but the last part, I was driving down the road past my apartment and I saw that right across the house, someone had arranged plastic advertisement letters across that said something along the lines of "I'll expose you, Sylvie, and everyone will know that you want to slobber all over my huge cock."

I smiled, pulled over, took all the letters down, and made it say "Go ahead." Then, vocally, I spoke "Go ahead, I don't give a smurf." Everything started to melt in color like dribbling water on a sheet of LSD or something. I woke up.

More recently, I had a half-conscious dissociative lapse of reality where I was awake, but I was hallucinating that I was completely disengaged from my human body and attempting to relocate it, or find a new one. This happens regularly in my life. I realized that if I open a pin box and start shoving the pins into the top corners of my skull symmetrically, I can get a better focus on how to get back into my body. I do enjoy floating around, but sometimes it is time to get back in. So I jack out. I pull out the pins and scream and it wakes me up and I can finally snap myself out of it. The slow process of regaining feeling through your own body again is bizarre.

Sylvie: There was an opportunity in your life that was recently passed up and you rationalize this by telling yourself that it was the fault of outside sources. Additionally, you want to have closure with some part of your life that you're ready to confront and tell that you don't need anymore and that there might be scary consequences but you're ready to face them, girl! OVERALL, you may just need to get laid to stop having dreams about bjs because it makes you want to push pins into your skull. Crazy trout.

i have dreamt before that i had sex with the female c3po from space balls

Krissy: Your mind wants you to embrace your unorthodox, perhaps revolting weirdness and/or fetishes. Don't let it down, man. Be true to yourself.

[escobert]

I rarely remember my dreams. When I do they range wildly from monsters attacking cities to me just driving.

[Tigmafuzz]

I dreamt that life didn't suck. Unfortunately, it was easily recognizable as a false reality, and I woke up very quickly.

[Raistlin]

I dreamed that foa and Shorty were dancing in tutus for Rick Santorum.

[Shorty]

Well, Wesley, that just means you're delusional as trout.

We would be in leotards, thankyouverymuch.

[Jiro]

I'm going to sleep now so I can dream that.

[Sephex]

I'm going to sleep now so I can dream that.

And I'm going to sleep so I can dream of Jiro!

[ReloadPsi]

I get very jealous of the dreams of others. Mine are always realistic and boring, and usually set in some real-life scenario with a few things being wrong... like me being back in school and having to catch up the thirteen years of classes I've missed. Yeah, that's about as surreal as mine ever get ¬_¬

[Laddy]

You have lofty goals and you're quite sure you're going to achieve them.

I'mma win Survivor.

[Sephex]

Also you poop a lot.

Now that part I believe.

[krissy]

i had a really good sex dream last night that a) i don't remember and b) didn't finish
i woke up as i was unwrapping the condom

wtf morning birds