A story? Here's a story for you. When I was a little Captain, about 7 or 8 years old, I had invited my old chum Brucie over to my house to play. We were just doing your generic playing kind of thing, toys and all this, when he asked me if it was okay to use the bathroom. I said sure! No problem with that. He had only been gone for a short while when I heard some fearful yelling, "Cap! Cap! Come here quick!!" So I got up and rushed over, worried for my friend. When I got to the bathroom I could see the fear in his eyes. I shouted to him, "What's wrong?!" Gingerly, as if unsure of what he was doing, he pulled something up and held it in front of me, clearly worried at the device he was holding. It was one of my mother's tampons. "Look!" he yelled nervously, "This is dynamite!"

I almost fainted. I went weak at the knees. I know better now, but back then I was an ignorant little kid. "Waaaah!" I screamed. "Those are my mom's! Why the heck does she have dynamite?" Brucie blurted out "Dangerous! Your mom is dangerous!"

I didn't know what to do, I was panicking. All I knew is that I had to hide them, for myself and my mother. "Please Brucie!" I begged, "Please promise you won't say anything about this!" I could tell while looking at him that he was giving the whole issue some serious thought, and after he'd mulled it over he said to me "Sure, I'll keep it secret. With one condition. Let me have one."

What else could I do? I let him keep one, once again imploring for his secrecy, and he shortly departed from my house. I was uncomfortable about the whole thing for the rest of the day though, and tried my best to avoid my mom, who I thought was some kind of assassin. Later that day at dinner I couldn't keep it to myself any longer and called my older sister to come. "Look!" I said, holding up a tampon, "Mom's got dynamite!" Obviously, my sister knew better than me and while initially nervous at my behaviour broke into giggles and explained to me "No, no, silly. Those are just things that women need!"

Man, Venom, let me tell you, I was so relieved! I didn't quite understand yet, but at least I knew it was safe and my mother wasn't an assassin. I ended up being so happy that I forgot about the whole incident entirely, for years. I actually got a bit older and went to a different school than Brucie did, but because I used to play baseball for my local team that was made up of kids from all schools I still heard about stuff, y'know. Sure enough when I was about 13, 5 years later, one day this kid on the team came running up to me. "Cap! Cap! Did you hear?" "What?!" "It's about Batman! Apparently, the other day at school his teacher was yelling at him in front of the whole class. All of a sudden, for some reason, Batman stood up and threw a fire lit tampon at the teacher!"

And that's my story. Lovely old Brucie and his gadgets.