Census Results - Get your slack asses in here.

[Jiro]

Least Favourite Weapon

Gosh you guys are picky. When the chips are down and you got a guy coming at you with some heavy artillery, you don't exactly have the luxury of going "hmmm nooo I don't think I will use that weapon, it's not very effective." You just pick up what the smurf you can find and beat the tit out of him with it. Same thing goes for zombies. Remind me never to shack up with you lot, we'll all die.

One Pointers

• Ultima Weapon (VII)
• Blitzball
• Measures
• Dolls
• Bare-Handed
• Rune Blade
• Megaphone
• Spears
• Dirk
• Hairpin
• Grand Mace
• Brave Blade
• Rinoa’s Wrist Boomerang

So we've got a list, and Wolf Kanno's checking it twice, if he smurfs up again I'm gonna drown him with rice. I want to sing a little jingle all of a sudden. Anyway, let's find out why these weapons are apparently bad.

I'm actually going to say the Cloud's Ultima Weapon. Yes it's powerful and it has 8 materia slots and I always want to use it because that's awesome, but no materia growth is a bit of a deal breaker. The only time it ever sees use is if I take on Emerald or Ruby or when I make my final run at the end of the game. Otherwise I'll use something else so my materia can still level as I go through sidequests.

That's a fair point, but by end game I don't think you're meant to be levelling materia any more. Still, at least you didn't say the HP mechanic is tit. Otherwise you'd have to be beaten to death.

Blitzball. Really? Honorable mentions go out to any end game weapons that are missable.

You're pretty much the lamest person ever. Clearly the blitzball wins points for being ranged and being silly novelty!

FFXII measures. Using a weapon on your own party to buff is a really cool concept, but using them was too impractical.

Are these musical measures or like cooking measures or what? I don't know. Sounds impractical.

Lulu's dolls. They don't increase magic by nearly as much as they should, their strength is also poor, and though they are cool, they don't add a whole lot to the character. Lulu could have used a stick and it would have been just as relevant.

A stick.

The weapons that drain your MP when you attack. There was one in FFVI, and some in FFXI. Rune blade I think? Anyway, MP is much more useful than being wasted to slightly boost your physical attacks.

I know Steiner had it as an ability (?) which was incredibly useful early on because he had tit all in the way of useful abilities anyway.

*shrug* Megaphone? xD

This is not a laughing matter.

again, wha parameters

GAMEPLAY MECHANIC WISE. DON'T YOU PEOPLE KNOW HOW TO READ.

Enemy: "I'm going to kill you with my nuclear bomb launcher."
Red XIII: "Yeah well, you better look out for my... err... my hairpin."
Enemy: "Your what?"
Red XIII: "...hairpin..."
Enemy: "What does it do?"
Red XIII: "Well it, er... can keep the hair out of your eyes and stuff."
Enemy: "It's not even windy. Is that all?"
Red XIII: "No! No, it can also, err... and you can use it to err... hmm...erm..."
*Runs Away*

You don't have to write a short story for every answer, buddy. But I'm glad you did. Better than not providing an explanation, or not providing a smurfing answer. Those people make my blood boil.

Rinoa's boomerang. Slow and weak-looking.

We already did the aesthetics census, pal. You were there. Remember.

So there's a bunch of weapons that we kind of hate. I love the person who nominated the Dirk, which I believe is just the weakest weapon in Final Fantasy VI. I don't think you get the point of this either, bucko. In any case, there's not a whole lot to be said. These weapons are rubbish in one way or another. Special shout out to all your ultimate/legendary weapons.

Ultimate Weapons in FFVII and Legendary Weapons in FFX. For VII, the weapons make what little individuality in the cast's playstyle completely meaningless. In FFX they do the same as VII and I have to go through mini-game hell to fully unlock them... so yeah, Legendary Weapons are definetly the worst.

Basically, use these things at projectiles and grab a stick. Yeah. A stick.

First Place (2)
Yep. Another one of these. Except there's only one winner. Wtf dudes. Nailbat. Nobody likes it. Two people hate it. What a wasteful weapon. Karifean puts it quite well.

Nailbat. What's the point?

What, indeed, is the point? I could tell you, but that would ruin the surprise. Suffice to say though, that if a zombie outbreak were to occur (who am I kidding, when it occurs) then a nailbat would be far more useful than you seem to think. smurf materia growth, kill baddies.