I feel inadequate as a gamer. :(

[Slothy]

I've long since given up trying to be a true gamer, it's nigh impossible without being an author for IGN or EGM.

Worth noting that if you are working for either IGN or EGM, then odds are you aren't a true gamer regardless of how many you play so I guess we can call it flat out impossible unless you're MILF.