I have had a striped giant bulbous spider hanging out outside the window by my front door all summer. I have watched him eat many flies while smoking on the porch. I have named him Mr. Jones, and I want to kill him, but I am smurfing horrified of his big bulb body.

I was standing by the window last night and he stuck his front legs up menacingly at me after sucking out the innards of a fly.

Grant me the power to stop this thing from becoming more powerful.