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Thread: FF5 Revisited!

  1. #16
    navmaldeuh Madonna's Avatar
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    The flood jokes should not have cracked me up as much as they did. I feel used.

    Maybe it is because I have not played V in years, but this game is progressing rather fast. Is it just me?

  2. #17
    Shlup's Retired Pimp Recognized Member Raistlin's Avatar
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    I hope the drunken guy in the tavern is named Cuch. :cuch:

    Quote Originally Posted by Madonna View Post
    Ohhhhhhh, I get it; the original text was edited out in a ROM and someone made up a whole lot of nonsense, like Beeblebabe's Fake Subs for Advent Children. Man, those subs were effing amazing.

    "There were explosions!"
    "I ducked."
    That was the best part.

  3. #18
    Not responsible for WWI Citizen Bleys's Avatar
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    Bleys Maynard (Sargatanas)
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    Quote Originally Posted by Madonna View Post
    The flood jokes should not have cracked me up as much as they did. I feel used.

    Maybe it is because I have not played V in years, but this game is progressing rather fast. Is it just me?
    It's not just you. The "Save the crystals" arc on Gaia that one would expect from previous experience to be the whole game (or most of it) is really more of a prologue.

    Quote Originally Posted by Raistlin View Post
    I hope the drunken guy in the tavern is named Cuch. :cuch:
    Everyone in Carwen was like that.

  4. #19
    Famine Wolf Recognized Member Sephex's Avatar
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    lol'd at the "maybe the party should go break crystals on purpose" bit. I remember thinking the same thing back when I first played through FFV.

  5. #20
    Not responsible for WWI Citizen Bleys's Avatar
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    Chapter III: Trial by Fire

    We rejoin our heroes washed up on the shore next to a meteor; Before when they investigated it, it was just a rock. Now, it has a door, and inside, they find...



    And thus our story en...what?



    On the other side of the vaporizer-cum-portal is a town. Sort of. Are these people insane?


    Am I unreasonable for thinking this is weird?


    Well, that's a relief

    It doesn't take long to get arrested. Faris didn't even get a chance to rob anybody! Well, at least we get to meet new people in jail. And cornhole them.






    That sounds like something dangerous to say in a town populated entirely by pyromaniacal psychopaths...


    yep, sure enough

    Well, on the upside, telling people that gunpowder is drugs did manage to get us out of jail, and all we have to do is help Dr. Cid. Not really seeing a downside here.


    Never mind

    Now that we have access to the castle, let's meet some Karnakish people who, unaccountably, are not on fire.


    A what?

    Off to the steamship, then!


    This is definitely not treason

    In the bowels (ha!) of the steamship, we finally meet the queen, and I can't stop saying smurf. Knew that would happen.


    Including, but not limited to bleeding, third-degree burns, and irreparable brain damage

    Of course there's a boss fight! It's not enough that we're surrounded by psychopaths, everything's on fire, and the Queen is snorting gunpowder. And to top it all off...


    Only in Final Fantasy can there be a massive explosion two meters away and nobody gets burned

    It looks like we're actually in time to save the Fire Crystal! Oh well, no more superpowers for us, I guess. But wait...


    That is definitely a good idea


    OK, maybe not

    Luckily...



    Let's head back to Karnak and see if people have learned anything from the death of their Queen and destruction of their castle. They should be grateful that we saved them before they all snorted too much gunpowder to recover, right?


    Well, I never!

    At least that gives us a direction to move now that we've utterly destroyed yet another country. Off to the Manga Library! Looks innocent enough at first...


    A hero's work is never done

    Thus do we delve into the musty depths of the Manga Library...



    Tomorrow: A Hero's Work is Never Done

  6. #21
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    Haha, that was a good post!


  7. #22
    Shlup's Retired Pimp Recognized Member Raistlin's Avatar
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    Damn black crack was just too tempting not to smoke. You could have warned them it would blow up their castle! Unne is a total dick.

  8. #23
    Famine Wolf Recognized Member Sephex's Avatar
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    Glad I wasn't the only person who thought it was odd to have random fires laying about.

  9. #24
    Feel the Bern Administrator Del Murder's Avatar
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    Crack kills.

    Proud to be the Unofficial Secret Illegal Enforcer of Eyes on Final Fantasy!
    When I grow up, I want to go to Bovine Trump University! - Ralph Wiggum

  10. #25
    Famine Wolf Recognized Member Sephex's Avatar
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  11. #26
    Eggstreme Wheelie Recognized Member Jiro's Avatar
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    Black crack is the best smurfing name. I'm excited to see more of Unne's journey!

    They see me rolling. They hating, patrolling.
    Trying to catch me riding dirty.


  12. #27
    Not responsible for WWI Citizen Bleys's Avatar
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    Don't be. This one sucks.

    Chapter IV: A Hero's Work is Never Done

    Imagine our surprise to discover the basement of the library is filled with....books!

    Oh, and an ancient fire demon. Perfect place for a fire demon to live, surrounded by highly combustible books.


    Tzep was clearly running out of ideas for dialogue

    After gaining control of the fire demon and threatening to burn the library to the ground, the moving bookshelves stopped getting in the way, allowing us to locate Cid's weeaboo grandson. Who, it seems, is a little bit special.



    His friends were relieved to find he hadn't burned to death hanging out with the fire demon


    These guys need to get out more





    Meanwhile, back in Karnak...




    Jacob is weird

    But wait, there's more to the book than just hentai!





    Cid and Jacob rush out to the steamship, when Galuf catches a glimpse at his lost memories...


    Yeah, sorry about that

    It went a bit like this...


    In the morning...


    The world is ours! Or at least the parts which we are not denied access to for plot reasons

    That's helpful...except we have no idea where to go to try to destroy save the Crystal of Earth! We'd better take the steamship and visit Cid and Jacob in the Manga Library to see if they can provide us with any leads.


    Thanks a lot, guys

    There is nothing for it but to sail the seas for American gold! We'll fire no guns, shed no tears~!


    Take a good long look at the mothersmurfing boat

    Next Chapter: Bare-It's Privateers!

  13. #28
    Eggstreme Wheelie Recognized Member Jiro's Avatar
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    Jacob is just clearly trying to fap to all the library books. What a weirdo.

    They see me rolling. They hating, patrolling.
    Trying to catch me riding dirty.


  14. #29
    Do Myself a Mischief Vermachtnis's Avatar
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    This is awesome.

  15. #30
    Famine Wolf Recognized Member Sephex's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jiro View Post
    Jacob is just clearly trying to fap to all the library books. What a weirdo.
    Wait, so that's considered unusual behavior? Whoops.

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