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Thread: FF5 Revisited!

  1. #31
    Not responsible for WWI Citizen Bleys's Avatar
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    It is if you're being guarded by a fire demon surrounded entirely by combustibles, perhaps.

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    Shlup's Retired Pimp Recognized Member Raistlin's Avatar
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    Hey, he's a fire demon that's surrounded by books that aren't burning, so he must be a pretty damn cautious fire demon. I'd be comfortable around him.

  3. #33
    navmaldeuh Madonna's Avatar
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    Otaku: goddamn them all! Well, except their shounen about steamship repair manga.

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    Eggstreme Wheelie Recognized Member Jiro's Avatar
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    I love the monopoly reference as well!

    They see me rolling. They hating, patrolling.
    Trying to catch me riding dirty.


  5. #35
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    Chapter V: Bare-It's Privateers?

    Short one inbound; I didn't want to go too far tonight since if I recall correctly, the Earth Crystal is closer than ever.

    Now that the WORLD is ours to command, it's time to visit that Jachol place that everyone says is so great.


    Not a great start...


    Yes! A clue! Now I know where to go!

    But before that, I have a hankering to visit Istory and get Ramuh. Istory's a fun town.



    Naaaah



    This always happens to me

    Well, I guess we'd better follow up on that clue from Jack Hole. Crescent Island looks peaceful and idyllic. Surely a lovely place!


    It can't be...


    Crap.


    Thanks a bunch, you spooge-slurping sphincter cannon

    Great. Now I'm stranded on a desert island with a psychopath who causes earthquakes with his freakin' mind, the guy who killed my father, a jew, and...well, Lenna's not so bad. But wait, what's this?


    Doesn't this look familiar? I think I saw these in FFIV


    w00t!

    Now I can cross the seas and sufficiently low-peaked mountains! Take that, Dr. Cid! In fact, I'm going to go back right now and gloat.


    That went well.

    We can't be exiled! I've got so much to live for! It'll be horrible! It'll be...what's that, Faris?



    Forgetting something, Faris? Let me remind you:


    Yeah that's right, bitch. Wakarimasen disagrees.

    But still...


    We'll always have our superpowers

    Well then, no help for it. Off to spend the rest of our lives wandering in the desert all alone.



    Tomorrow: Sand In Our Vaginas

  6. #36
    Shlup's Retired Pimp Recognized Member Raistlin's Avatar
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    Istory: just like what those crazy people say who don't pronounce the "h" in "history."

    Also what kind of suffering could a toad cause if it could be defeated by flowers?

  7. #37
    Not responsible for WWI Citizen Bleys's Avatar
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    It wasn't.



    It was defeated by the old guy's ancestors, who sealed him up beneath a hill which happens, for no reason to do with the demon's defeat, to have flowers on it a few hundred years later.

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    Shlup's Retired Pimp Recognized Member Raistlin's Avatar
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    My first thought was that it sounds like he was sealed by the flower bed. Which, oddly enough, still makes more sense than Signs.

  9. #39
    Famine Wolf Recognized Member Sephex's Avatar
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    Anything makes more sense than Sings.

    Bleys, I am looking forward to the Sand in Our Vaginas chapter.

  10. #40
    navmaldeuh Madonna's Avatar
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    If there is a strong enough root system, you probably can keep anything trapped beneath it, like maybe a spirit of unimaginable evil. Of course, the flower bed would probably become sentient and evil in the end, but it sounded a good idea at the time.

  11. #41
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    No comments on "spooge-slurping sphincter cannon?" I am disappoint

    Mega-update today. 96 freaking screenshots.

    Chapter VI: Sand in our Vaginas
    or
    For What It's Earth

    We rejoin our heroes as they are about to be exiled into the desert where they must surely die




    Five minutes later...


    Well, that wasn't so bad

    What's on the other side of the desert? It was supposed to be boundless. That was distinctly bounded.





    But are there really any insane criminals here?


    yep

    Can King Tycoon really have survived?


    Dick.


    Wow, I guess we really are unkillable




    Not really much here...a bunch of strange machines and an exploding teleporter.
    Meanwhile, Cid and Jacob investigate our story:




    Enough about them. I found a lever!


    That'll teach them for exiling us to the desert

    We keep running into old friends on our journeys:





    The treasure sucked, by the way

    Further in...


    This just keeps getting better


    Oh, delicious irony

    Wendy, I can fly! Surely there's no reason why I shouldn't!




    Well, now that I have an airship, it's time to explore a bit. Let's visit Unne's hometown!




    The Inn is free, so we might as well stay...





    And of course, who could come home without catching up with old friends?





    Back in our old house, there's a music box....*sigh*...it brings back so many childhood memories





    Well, at least flashbacks are private.


    Bastard.

    Of course, we have to do Lenna the same favour and visit Tycoon...




    ...where Faris has a confession



    Time for another flashback!




    Tycoon's soldiers are taking a page from the Chancellor's book


    Sightseeing done, Lenna wants to go back to the ruined city to search for her father. Faris wants revenge on him for dropping them into a pit. Hence, we fly up to it, and...




    Ohhhhhhh crap

    I hope Cid and Jacob have some idea of what to do



    Alright, so all we have to do is fly up to it, blow up its WMD's, and force our way in? Easy.


    This is definitely a good idea. There is no way this is not a good idea

    Inside...


    That boss fight is a pain in the ass, by the way.

    Onward to the Crystal chamber, where we meet an old friend...


    w00t!



    Now, for a lengthy infodump:








    Galuf and Cara use Cara's meteor to return to Terra to kill Tzepish and end the spoof, leaving our remaining heroes to process all they've learned. Soon...




    I didn't take any screenshots during the runs to collect drugs from the 4 meteorites because it wasn't really funny. Once enough drugs were collected, though, it's time...



    OFF TO TERRA!



    This is exciting. A whole new world to explore!


    Goddammit.

    Next update: Another World

  12. #42
    Shlup's Retired Pimp Recognized Member Raistlin's Avatar
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    I always did think that airship wasn't particularly stable, especially that little wooden bridge. And Unne's childhood friend is even more of a dick than he is.

  13. #43
    Feel the Bern Administrator Del Murder's Avatar
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    Great update! Why is Exdeath called Tzepish? I don't get that one.

    Proud to be the Unofficial Secret Illegal Enforcer of Eyes on Final Fantasy!
    When I grow up, I want to go to Bovine Trump University! - Ralph Wiggum

  14. #44
    Famine Wolf Recognized Member Sephex's Avatar
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    Nice, long update. Well done as always!

  15. #45
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    Quote Originally Posted by Del Murder View Post
    Great update! Why is Exdeath called Tzepish? I don't get that one.
    Tzepish is the guy who wrote the spoof. He wrote himself into it.

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