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Thread: You're In My World Now, B***!

  1. #1

    Default You're In My World Now, B***!

    http://home.eyesonff.com/final-fanta...r-day-job.html

    What would the cast of VIII do if they ended up trapped in our world?
    Remember, no sorceress, therefore no logical reason for their freakish weapons. Also no magic.

    Squall: work in a cubical
    Quistis: teach Sunday school
    Zell: become a bouncer
    Selphie: attend college
    Irvine: star on the Bachelor
    Rinoa: dog-&-pony show
    Seifer: he'd either try to steal Squall or Zell's job. Working in a cubical sucks, so he'd become a bouncer
    Laguna: stand-up comic
    Jack: How do you know?

    Will: It's more of a feeling really.

    Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?

    Will: No.

    If Demolition Man were remade today

    Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
    Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
    Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
    Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
    Huxley: NO!
    Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
    Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
    Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
    Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
    Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
    Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
    Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
    Huxley: You need to leave, John.
    Spartan: But Huxley.
    Huxley: Get out!
    Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.

    By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.

  2. #2
    Recognized Member Jessweeee♪'s Avatar
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    Hahaha that's pretty accurate I think. Squall would so be in a cubicle.

  3. #3
    Famine Wolf Recognized Member Sephex's Avatar
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    Squall: Would be in a string of post punk band that doesn't really go anywhere. To support his music, Squall would work at an Olive Garden by day, first mistaking it for another school. Squall would eventually cheer up, but it would be because of the quality of their bread sticks.

    Quistis: Ends up almost collapsing the universe on itself by becoming a huge fan of the Final Fantasy series and admins at EoFF.

    Zell: Decides he has enough skill to become a boxer. He was going to get into MMA, but he felt uncomfortable rolling around on the ground with other dudes. Anyway, he sues Mike Tyson over their similar tattoos. They eventually agree to resolve the matter in an official boxing match. Tyson knocks Zell out in one blow. Now, Zell spends his days in a studio apartment crying every night while trying, and failing, to beat Mike Tyson...this time the NES version of Punch Out!!

    Selphie: Discovers the wonders of prescription drugs and somehow breaks the world's landspeed record simply by talking. She actually applies herself and become a doctor just so she can take drug cocktails any time she wants. She is currently dating Michelangelo.

    Irvine: Is a coach of the WNBA. He is a far right conservative because of his passion and desire to own firearms.

    Rinoa: Attempts to use the dog launcher limit break at a talent show, but is jailed for most animal cruelty and manslaughter after a good portion of the audience was killed from the attack. While in jail, Rinoa learns many devious skills and gets involved with organized crime. She currently runs a sucessful drug ring that operates out of southern California.

    Seifer: Starts a rival band just to spite Squall. His luck is worse than Squalls. He then decides to take up voice acting. Turns out he was the one who voiced Barry Burton in the original Resident Evil.

    Laguna: He ends up hosting a late night talk show. However, most air time is wasted by having legs cramps and limping around.

  4. #4
    Eggstreme Wheelie Recognized Member Jiro's Avatar
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    Squall: He'd teach basic leadership at a Defence Academy and thrives thanks to strict rules, rather than the goddamn mildly militaristic style Garden has.
    Quistis: Joins the circus/rodeo as a master whipper.
    Zell: becomes a semi professional boxer
    Selphie: starts up her own bar with the help of Irvine. Gets local bands to play there all the time.
    Irvine: just follows Selphie around being cool. Models on the side.
    Rinoa: tries it as a politician; fails. Joins a not for profit enviro group instead.
    Seifer: gets really good at fishing. hosts a fishing show on the telly.
    Laguna: becomes a fiction writer. Plenty of stories about a sci-fi president defeating evil sorceresses and trout
    Kiros: Becomes a barber.
    Ward: Becomes a janitor. Again.

    They see me rolling. They hating, patrolling.
    Trying to catch me riding dirty.


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