My Life as Tidus
Sixth Entry

So we arrived in Kilika. Road the wave in from one of Sin's attacks. The smurfing fatass whale decimated Kilika. Just like, body slammed it. The Aurochs and the Crusaders ran around to try and fix some trout but I doubt it's going to be Sin proof any time soon. That thing is an absolute monster of a monster. Saw Yuna do some weird dance. She might be Jesus, too. She was walking on water, just like that guy from that popular TV show Two Men and a Holy Ghost. It was weird and then all these fireflies started buzzing about and I think massive-tits girl Lulu tried to crack onto me. Can't be too sure.

So yeah now we're in Kilika and we're going to head up to the temple tomorrow. Should be absolutely thrilling. I hate these stupid ass temples. They're boring on the outside and retarded on the inside. Oh well. Oh and I think there's this gay merchant following me around. He seems fascinated with my clothes, but that might just be a euphemism in this crazy place. Can't say I blame him, who wouldn't want a piece of Tidus the all star player for the Zanarkand Abes? I'm practically sex on legs, you know. I wonder if I could convince Lulu and Yuna to have a threesome with me. Probably not with that furry blue dude that's stalking Yuna.