I would laugh and ask how the wings managed to get away. Then I'd take some Xanax.
I would laugh and ask how the wings managed to get away. Then I'd take some Xanax.
Xanax: The way to really fly.Originally Posted by Shiny
Is that from Family Guy?
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain. Those of you with a fear of dark, cold, wet places, life vests are available. Meanwhile, place heads between your knees and close your eyes and try not to disturb the other passengers as our descent into to the ocean's depths may very well be just a wild ride to the rest of us.
Jack: How do you know?
Will: It's more of a feeling really.
Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?
Will: No.
If Demolition Man were remade today
Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
Huxley: NO!
Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
Huxley: You need to leave, John.
Spartan: But Huxley.
Huxley: Get out!
Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.
By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.
"Ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking. I heard this rumor that the oxygen masks that drop in the case of cabin depressurization are actually full of a lethal neurotoxin. Too bad you can't check that trout out on snopes right now, ennit?"
Signature by rubah. I think.
Ladies and gentlemen, we've just realized the emergency oxygen masks having been instead accidentally supplied with helium. Check it out: My Bonnie lies over the ocean. My Bonnie lies over the sea. Heheheheheheh. You fools have got to try this sh--!
Jack: How do you know?
Will: It's more of a feeling really.
Jack: Well, that's not scientific. Feeling isn't knowing. Feeling is believing. If you believe it, you can't know because there's no knowing what you believe. Then again, no one should believe what they know either. Once you know anything that anything becomes unbelievable if only by virtue of the fact you now... know it. You know?
Will: No.
If Demolition Man were remade today
Huxley: What's wrong? You broke contact.
Spartan: Contact? I didn't even touch you.
Huxley: Don't you want to make love?
Spartan: Is that what you call this? Why don't we just do it the old-fashioned way?
Huxley: NO!
Spartan: Whoa! Okay, calm down.
Huxley: Don't tell me to calm down!
Spartan: What's gotten into you? 'Cause it sure as hell wasn't me.
Huxley: Physical relations in the way of intercourse are no longer acceptable John Spartan.
Spartan: What? Why the hell not?
Huxley: It's the law, John. And for your information, the very idea that you suggested it makes me feel personally violated.
Spartan: Wait a minute... violated? Huxley what the hell are you accusing me of here?
Huxley: You need to leave, John.
Spartan: But Huxley.
Huxley: Get out!
Moments later Spartan is arrested for "violating" Huxley.
By the way, that's called satire. Get over it.
Now that my Inigo Montoya post has a full limit bar, what happens if someone else reps it? Armageddon?
No one mention anything about the Final Destination thingy here? Premonition that the plane will blow and crap?
*Irishman attempting to do a Scottish accent and failing* "This is yer Chief Engineer speakin' I kinna push the engines any harder! If I dinnae have fresh dilithium crystals in 30 minutes the plane will blow up!"
Close enough?
BTW, the moon has turned to blood. Good going, Faris.
This is your captain speaking. I don't know who decided to put jiffy pop in the microwave, but now we're in space. Good Job.
This post brought to you by the power of boobs. Dear lord them boobs. Amen
That wasn't what I was aiming for but it'll do.
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The woman who does Bart Simpson's voice came to our college once. She told us that a couple of times when she's flown the pilots have let her say stuff over the speaker, in character as Bart Simpson, when they find out who she is. Pretty great.
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Captain spea-- [noises, thuds etc]"
followed in a few minutes by
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your co-pilot speaking... ... ... ... [sob] ... ... ... oh God..."
Bow before the mighty Javoo!
"Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. I would like to extend an invitation to all of you to eat my shorts."
"Ladies and Gentlemen, as we taxi on to the runway to take off I, Akhmed your pilot today would like you to look out the windows to the right where you will see the real captain and co-pilot running trying to get on board. Please enjoy your flight on jihad airways"
^ That reminds me of the Funny or Die skit "Terrorist on Flight 77"
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