Dear EoFF, you need to see this

[Quindiana Jones]

Can someone please ban Pike for that atrocity?

[Jiro]

I regret to inform the good people of Eyes on Final Fantasy, in particular the beautiful I'm My Own MILF, but I must murder Pike. It just must be done.

[Quindiana Jones]

Some things are unacceptable even as jokes.

[Madame Adequate]

[NorthernChaosGod]

I regret to inform the good people of Eyes on Final Fantasy, in particular the beautiful I'm My Own MILF, but I must murder Pike. It just must be done.

You have my bow.

[krissy]

To those people who are outraged at Ms. Pike P Pikely's cankered, sadistic dissertations, this letter will be of interest. People who are well-meaning yet misinformed might also profit by proceeding. For the remainder who are indifferent, faint of heart, or content to let Pike deny the obvious, I regret that there is little reason to read further. But first, let me pose you a question: Is she actually concerned about any of us or does she just want to peonize and enslave her rivals? After reading this letter, you'll doubtlessly find it's the latter. Does she do research before she reports things, or does she just guess and hope she's right? The reason I ask is that she has been fairly successful in her efforts to provide the pretext for police-state measures. That just goes to show what can be done with a little greed, a complete lack of scruples, and the help of a bunch of worthless, evil reprobates.

Wild dweebs may endanger our property or our security or our economic well-being, but Pike endangers our souls. She is extraordinarily brazen. We've all known that for a long time. However, Pike's willingness to flush all my hopes and dreams down the toilet sets a new world record for brazenness. My vision is built on the future, not the past. If you doubt this, just ask around. My next point will be so cogent that even Pike will be able to understand it. Specifically, of all of Pike's exaggerations and incorrect comparisons, one in particular stands out: "We can stop parasitism merely by permitting government officials entrée into private homes to search for quisquilious, clueless birdbrained-types." I don't know where she came up with this, but her statement is dead wrong.

I have a dream that my children will be able to live in a world filled with open spaces and beautiful wilderness—not in a dark, pusillanimous world run by puzzleheaded know-nothings. Why does Pike want to make a fetish of the virtues of backwards despotism? Psychologists might suggest that we must speak neither of the past nor of the far future but rather focus on the here and now, specifically on the daunting matter of her vile demands. Counselors might contend that Pike's excesses, emotional swings, casual cruelties, and hair-trigger outbursts make me think that diversivolent, destructive narcissism and slatternly misoneism are a matched pair. Sociologists might point out that her proxies fail to recognize that her orations have gotten way out of hand. I personally agree with the above assessments, but if it turns out that there's clearly no way to prevent Pike from pushing our efforts two steps backward then I guess it'll be time to throw my cards on the table and call it quits. I'll just have to give up trying to keep the faith and accept the fact that the time has arrived to make a choice between freedom and slavery, revolt and submission, liberty and subservience. We must choose wisely, knowing that if we appeal not to the contented and satisfied but embrace those tormented by suffering, those without peace, the unhappy and the discontented, we can live as truly free and empowered human beings. If, however, we let Pike topple society, we become little more than fearful, broken dogs condemned to exist in a world of empty-headed aspheterism. Everything I've written in this letter amounts to this: We can safely assume that whenever Ms. Pike P Pikely finds herself confronted by the law, she insists it needs reforming.

[Mercen-X]

Whenever I see incorrect grammar, spelling, punctuation, and whatever-else, I imagine smashing the typist's fingers with a hammer. Then I realize they're most likely "typing" by way of a straw in their mouth what with the fact that their fingers already don't work properly.

[Raistlin]

Everyone who rep'd Pikes post should be banned. That is among the worst posts in EoFF history.

[Jiro]

I am impressed by just how badly she seems to be malfunctioning. I thought she was good at words; now I see it was probably a serendipitous computing error.

[The Summoner of Leviathan]

Dear Tifa's Boobs,

Do not start a sentence with "basically" if you intend to be snooty about grammar.

Yours truly,

It's frowned upon but not improper.

What really irks me is than/then confusion. They are not even true homophones!

[Pike]

To tell the truth I sort of feel bad about getting all that rep because I didn't even write it. It's an amusing copypasta I saved a while back.

[Rantz]

That's it, I'm taking my rep back!

[Jiro]

C-can... can you even do that?

[Quindiana Jones]

Course he can! He's an Administrator.

EDIT: Wait, nope. No, he isn't. I swear, your titles change as often as my names, Rantz! xD

[Christmas]

To tell the truth I sort of feel bad about getting all that rep because I didn't even write it. It's an amusing copypasta I saved a while back.

It's takes skills to perform a perfect copy and paste!!! You're a fine example of a true pirate!!!