Nope, sorry, I couldn't, he will be so mad. Only me, Iceglow, Baloki and DK will know what happened on that day. And none of us will repeat it here.
Nope, sorry, I couldn't, he will be so mad. Only me, Iceglow, Baloki and DK will know what happened on that day. And none of us will repeat it here.
No sorry Paul it's got to come out. if only because it is brilliant and he needs to learn to get over it and look back and laugh. Here's how it went down.
We were all having one of our own little eyeson meetups in the UK, and we had all decided to go out for dinner one night and then we'd planned to go out afterwards for a lad's night out and get Steve to help us pull some ladies in. We were all dressed up to the nines, nice shirts, jeans, fresh shoes the whole lot. Anyway we went to this pretty fancy restaurant for our meal, italian place, we had a nice table outside as it was a warm summer evening and as we were planning to make it a glory night we decided we were going to go all out and have three full courses. Our boy Steve had actually been on rare form that night, he was cracking the jokes left and right, throwing out a couple of quality anecdotes and every time this one hot waitress went past, Paul will know the one I mean (brunette, skirt far too short for her legs), he was busting out the charm and she was feeling it.
It was going great all round. But then, for some reason, after we'd all finished our starters, Steve just kind of shut down. He stopped talking pretty much and kind of just sat there with an annoyed grimace on his face and he basically started chain smoking, I think he got through two packs of twenty by the time we were ready to leave. No one really knew what was wrong with him and we didn't really want to say anything to him in case his mood worsened but we didn't know what to do. I thought that he must have gotten some bad food or something but didn't want to make a scene at the restaurant because he's a cool guy like that. Anyway like I said we were all done so we had to get up and go but Steve started making a fuss about it and said he wasn't in the mood to go anywhere. Man he was just bugging out. The rest of us wanted to go though and we started just having a little moan at him about it, something I will always regret doing, because he eventually just gave in and got up. If you're wondering where this is going, it basically turns out that after the starters were done Steve had a little accident and kinda crapped himself, and had just been sitting there ever since in a bad mood. What the smurf were we supposed to do? I will never in my life forget the sight of Steve pushing the restaurant door open and a tiny little nugget of poo rolling down the leg of his trousers and onto the floor as he walked out. It was, and remains, hilarious and I hope that time has healed his wounds enough that he can laugh at this now. I know I am.
This is in GC so
I will offer to be perma banned
In exchange for the third story. But you can't move the thread to somewhere I can't see
update
[q]At an EoFF meet up, we were walking about the streets of sunny Birmingham, causing mischief and being generally awful human beings. Our hero, Iceglow, was too busy telling a story about how he had sex with some Tibetan woman when he stepped in a pile of excrement on the ground, slipped over and landed in it, so it was all down his back and on his denim jacket. Let me tell you, that man was FURIOUS.
He was rubbing his back and shoes on walls, trees, anything - you name it, he did it. "smurf off guys it's not funny!" he'd yell and threaten to beat us up, and you can imagine we were rolling around laughing. "I've got poo on me don't I! Poo! IT'S NOT FUNNY! POO IS NOT FUNNY! HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE COVERED IN POO?" It was dribbling down his back as he bellowed this at us. I could not breathe. I had to sit down on a small wall - I couldn't walk because I was laughing so hard.
He ended up buying a new jacket after they wouldn't let him into the Sea Life Centre.
and that's why, to this day, it is hilarious to say "Poo" to Iceglow.[/q]
[q]His sister had just had a baby, Steve's niece. She'd changed her daughter on her kitchen counter for whatever reason. Anyway, in walks our hero, Sir Iceglow of London, and spies something brown on the kitchen counter. Naturally he scoops it up with his finger, pops it into his mouth and goes "Mmm, peanut butter". Apparently he spent the next hour alternating between puking and yelling at his sister for leaving poo on the kitchen counter.[/q]
[q]No sorry Paul it's got to come out. if only because it is brilliant and he needs to learn to get over it and look back and laugh. Here's how it went down.
We were all having one of our own little eyeson meetups in the UK, and we had all decided to go out for dinner one night and then we'd planned to go out afterwards for a lad's night out and get Steve to help us pull some ladies in. We were all dressed up to the nines, nice shirts, jeans, fresh shoes the whole lot. Anyway we went to this pretty fancy restaurant for our meal, italian place, we had a nice table outside as it was a warm summer evening and as we were planning to make it a glory night we decided we were going to go all out and have three full courses. Our boy Steve had actually been on rare form that night, he was cracking the jokes left and right, throwing out a couple of quality anecdotes and every time this one hot waitress went past, Paul will know the one I mean (brunette, skirt far too short for her legs), he was busting out the charm and she was feeling it.
It was going great all round. But then, for some reason, after we'd all finished our starters, Steve just kind of shut down. He stopped talking pretty much and kind of just sat there with an annoyed grimace on his face and he basically started chain smoking, I think he got through two packs of twenty by the time we were ready to leave. No one really knew what was wrong with him and we didn't really want to say anything to him in case his mood worsened but we didn't know what to do. I thought that he must have gotten some bad food or something but didn't want to make a scene at the restaurant because he's a cool guy like that. Anyway like I said we were all done so we had to get up and go but Steve started making a fuss about it and said he wasn't in the mood to go anywhere. Man he was just bugging out. The rest of us wanted to go though and we started just having a little moan at him about it, something I will always regret doing, because he eventually just gave in and got up. If you're wondering where this is going, it basically turns out that after the starters were done Steve had a little accident and kinda crapped himself, and had just been sitting there ever since in a bad mood. What the smurf were we supposed to do? I will never in my life forget the sight of Steve pushing the restaurant door open and a tiny little nugget of poo rolling down the leg of his trousers and onto the floor as he walked out. It was, and remains, hilarious and I hope that time has healed his wounds enough that he can laugh at this now. I know I am.[/q]
Last edited by Peegee; 09-14-2012 at 08:23 PM.
Hahaha no way dude, delete your post. He will flip if he knows you posted that one. xD Funny but a bit cruel to tell people haha. Oh well. I'm sure he can laugh at himself now.
I actually don't know what to do now.
I still can't go to that restaurant to this day and sit outside, makes me shudder inside :S
I'm going to get fired xDDDD
I swear to god, do not delete that DK.
Nooo, I think you should delete it, that's really mortifying.
If you delete that I will come to Cornwall and I will poo in your bed
You want to know the worst of it? I used to come back to Manchester quite regularly, and about a year later I chanced the restaurant again, thinking no-one would remember my face and the same waitress served me and recognised me...
She remembered Iceglow and asked me if I still kept in touch with him, I answered yes nervously, she then asked me for his number and I had to ask why. Seems like she found out it was him that day and wanted to know where to send the cleaning bill. Iceglows too cool for me to have dropped him in it so I gave her a fake number and the restaurant a wide birth for years...
Jesus Christ, Paul. He's gonna go mad! He specifically asked us not to tell the peanut butter story! xD