I am a smurfing awful human being.

[Faris]

My sense of humour at times knows no bounds.

[Citizen Bleys]

Also, I used "I Can't Believe It's Not Butter", instead of butter.

There's an entire Circle of Hell reserved just for you, knave.

[Denmark]

I talk on the phone while driving. Yeah, shut up.

you

[Balzac]

I post necrophillic jokes on FB and find it highly amusing.

[Jowy]

i'm kind of a pompous jerk and i'm not really shy about it

but beneath my gruff hard shell lies a creamy delicious filling or so they say

[Shorty]

I talk on the phone while driving. Yeah, shut up.

you

Was that you I fender-bendered a couple of minutes ago?

[Bubba]

I am a serial pigeon killer.

When I was a kid, I used to go to Paintball every week at a disused factory. During one game whilst erm... hiding... with friends. We took a few potshots at a pigeon (which was a long way away) that was waddling along.

My second shot hit it in the neck and decapitated it. I was mortified. I couldn't even hit humans let alone birds. I felt terrible for days.

Then, a few years ago, I struck again. I was cycling to work and approached about 10-15 pigeons fighting over some food. I assumed they would all move out of the way when I got close... nope. The pigeon who won the fight for food got more than he bargained for. I shut my eyes before impact hoping at the last second it would narrowly escape... nope. I ran over it's head. Again, I felt terrible.

I feel sorry for the next pigeon that crosses my path.

[milliegoesbeep]

When we were discussing a certain law case and I thought that they deserved it >.>"

[Clo]

Every day I feel like an awful human being, for some reason.

[Denmark]

I talk on the phone while driving. Yeah, shut up.

you

Was that you I fender-bendered a couple of minutes ago?

I hope not, my car's been hit enough already! (once)

[NorthernChaosGod]

I post here?

[Jinx]

Shorty, did you really hit someone's car?

[Clo]

I am a horrible human being because I forget what I write in my own OP.

[Bunny]

I am me.

[Jessweeee♪]

This one time a friend IMed me crying because she thought she was pregnant because she masturbated (even though she used a condom while she did it) and I told a couple of our friends plus the whole internet. I'm pretty bad x:

That doesn't make you bad, because something that ridiculously hilarious just had to be told. It was your civic duty. How old was she?

It also reminds me of that House clinic patient who stated she used "the jelly" as a contraceptive. It turned out that she put actual grape jelly all over her vagina.

Nineteen. I noticed that during the rare moments in school when they did teach something about sex, she was only at the abstinence seminar. Knowing her father, he probably signed the opt out forms for the others. I bring the story up every time there's a thread like this or a thread on sex ed.